Life — August 10, 1911 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How to Keep Cool [d private-and more effective recipe than those Constantly suggested by the halfpenny press.) When I weary of infinite lays (Like a hen) as the weather grows hotter, When Pegasus languidly neighs, And the Muse is a rotter, And I envy the ducks in the park and the seals at the Zoo and the otter; When the dust cddies up from the path Which the wheel of the motor car threshes, And no place allures but the bath, And no drink refreshes, And drives are all topped from the tec id and all services faint in the meshes ; Shall I list to the voice of the Press? Shall I purchase their hints for a copper 3 On how I should cut down my dress (Which would hardly be proper), And only cat turnips and wear a huge cabbage leaf under my topper? Ah no! for the power of the mind Is lord of the frailties of matter, And food is so pleasant, I find, And I don’t think my hatter Would let me fit greens in his tile, and I can't leave off clothes like a satyr. My thoughts I relentlessly switch To souls who are fated to follow Some calling contrasted with which, When he worships Apollo, The weaver of honcy-sweet songs is as cool as a cow in a wallow. Cocktails When others are offered, it’s for the purpose of larger profits. i Refuse substitutes. All varieties, Simply strain through cracked ice and serve. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. Sole Proprietors Hartford New York London Photos (c) by Mishkin & Dupoot. an unequalled series of Double-Dise Records by a majority of the greatest singers tn the world, ‘Arlists Whose names are household words In Europe and both Americas—among them 'NORDICA, ?FREMSTAD, *MARY GARDEN, ‘ALICE NIELSEN, *ZENATELLO, *BONCI, CAVALIERI, °CONSTANTINO, *LIPKOWSKA, "BAKLANOFF, "AMATO, “McCORMACK, 'BONINSEGNA, “EMMY DESTINN, "SAMMARCO, '*ANSELMI, "MARDONES ECORDS of all these magnificent voices, and of scores of others, may be purchased of Columbia dealers. Many of them nowhere else; for they are now singing under exclusive Columbia contracts: records that may be played on any disc instrument, and are bet- ter in surface, tone and dura- bility than any others, and so guaranteed to you. Hear them on the new Columbia Grafonola “Regent Junior,” here. illus- trated, and you will admit the claims of “the one incomparable musical in- strument.”” ‘New catalogs of Columbia tnstruments and records of any Columbia dealer, or from us by mail. Exclustee selling rights granted to dealers where ie are not actively represented. 1 COLUMBIA PHONOGRAPH CO., Gen’l,—Box 270, Tribune Bldg., NewYork ‘The New Columbia Grafonola “Regent Junior"—$150 Other types of the Columbia Grafonola from $50 up to $200. Graphophones, $17.50 to $100, (Blessed dream!) who are walking On shadowless plains with their loves and expected to do all the talking. 1 think of the people who toil For gold in the grasp of the City, Of stokers and engine-room oil, Of bakers all gritty With germ of the standardized flour, and of chaps on some futile com- mittee. I think of the men on the Mail, I think of my butcher and grocer, And when all these solaces fail Am I comfortless? No, sir! 1 think, and revive at 1 thought, of where it's fif times I think of the hind hocing roots, Of pedlers their articles hawking, one place Of gallants in very tight boots closer. —Evoe in Punch, au comicbooks.com