Life — August 10, 1911 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

#LJ FE 219 Ballingford in Berlin Arrives Therein Nick of Time to Prevent William from Grabbing Morocco—Ball Given in His Honor—German Citizens Everywhere Will Rejoice At Outcome Scarcity of Good Tailors Berutx, August 3, 1911 A ER all, I am here. I felt that I could leave thing home temporarily, with J. P. Morgan and Aldrich in charge. They are not exactly ideal, but at least they will do nothing radical until I return. Then again, it must be re bered that while Europe seems rather out of it so far as we are concerned, this is only true superficially, In case of a war here we would feel it, and I have to consider all those matters, Needless to say, Emperor William was delighted to sce me To-night there will be a grand ball given in my honor. I tried to get out of it, but William would not take no for an answer NAUTICALLY SPEAKING “mG wostas, 1s" site?” “Ves; 1 WONDER WHAT HEK DISPLACEMENT WOULD Br None but the. Brave Deserves the Fair HE Bachelor ran into the Married Man at the club. After an exchange of cigarettes and abuse of the weather, the Bachelor asked, “ How's your Mrs.?" “Quite fit.” “Haven't scen her about. «Doesn't walk much now?” “No.” ‘or motor?” No.” Don't be so deuced enigmatic.” “She's breaking in her new clothes.” She's. what? din’ out what she can do in 'em, Took three minutes to find out what she can't "t walk. Can't go up or down stairs. Can't reach the motor step. Can't even sit— the blame things are so tight.” The Married Man, his silence once broken, exhibited a positive rapacity for sneech. For almost three years he hs been a mere recipient of information “My Mrs. got in her batch of French-duds a week She's crazy to show ’em off—but after she’s hooked into to stop in one spot. Found her in tears the other Told her to cheer up, I had a plan. Get dressed just back of the drawin’ room curtains and then have ‘em pulled. She got so mad she stopped cryin’. But, most as many people ‘d see her there as they would walkin’ or drivin’ You never know how women'll take things. “To-day I've worked out somethin’ that'll please her. Lit tle platform six inches from the ground—couple square —four wheels, Be pulled about by chauffeur. See? That'll let people know she has a car even if she can't use it. Must hurry back now an’ tell her. The Bachelor, wringing his hand in farewell, felt in the presence of one magnificently brave. After a moment's delib- eration he walked to the telephone. “That you, Turner? No, Mr. Crab: WELL, OLD MAN, ANY PLANS roR THE SUMMER? don’t call Miss Frances—just take a message. Say I'm called “SURE THING! MAVING EVES PAINTED ON MY SHELL To away suddenly. I'll send her a postal from Australia.” TRAVEL WITH A DIME MUSEUM AS A TWO-IEADED EAREW.” comicbooks.com