Life, 1911-08-03 · page 37 of 40
Life — August 3, 1911 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the women's suffrage movement through a mock constitution. The joke imagines what American government would look like if women gained voting power—presenting an exaggerated, absurd alternate system where: - Women hold all major political offices and make decisions via gossip at the "Colonial Club" - Men are deliberately humiliated, holding only a powerless vice-presidency - Laws concern trivial social matters (fashion, flower-delivery etiquette, cab fares) - Bills are paid with decorative checks tied in purple ribbons The satire reflects anti-suffrage sentiment common in the 1910s: the implication that women voters would prioritize frivolous social concerns over serious governance. The piece mocks both suffragettes and the supposed incompetence of female political participation—humor designed to ridicule the women's rights movement by portraying it as shallow and chaotic. The accompanying short jokes reinforce gender stereotypes about women's financial irresponsibility and domestic concerns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
od op Ga le cles PARIS GARTERS No Metal Can Touch You. Dhe Choice of the Tennis Court The Riviera Season “Jack, what shall I do about Mrs. Goodhand’s bridge tea? I simply can’t 590, you know “O-—send her a check!” —London Opinion. Laxpiorp (to prospective tenant): Any children? P. T.: Only the children of my brain Tam an author. L.: Our rules are very strict, sir. I'm afraid I cannot accommodate you. —Bosto ranseript. MAGAZINE Representative Monthly of California and the Great Southwest. sue. Magazine va Constitution Revised to Suit the Requirements of the Suffragettes We, the People of the United States. in order to insure a continual powwow, establish domestic intranquillity, provide for all the restaurant keepers and hotels, and secure the blessings of a lasting bondage to every man and baby through- out the land, do ordain this Constitution : ARTICLE 1 All the legislative powers shall be placed in the hands of acknowledged social leaders and others with whom they are on bowing terms. These shall form a congress and no person shall be a mem- ber whose gown docs not button up the back, or who has had any children, or who has not at least secured one divorce The President shall be a woman, a fine conversationalist, and a bridge player of standing. She shall be elected by the conversation of a female electorate, who shall gather together at the Colonial Club every year, and converse about the likeliest candidates, and the one about whom the fewest mean things are said shall be declared President. The Vice-President shall be a man, This shall be the only office held by any man, the idea being to humiliate him as much as possible. He will be obliged to preside over the Senate and listen to everything it says, but shall have no power to preserve order. The judicial power shall be vested in a Supreme Bench, composed of all the lady lawyers in Colorado or other remote places. The Supreme Bench shall deter- mine the fashions, arrange for the hours during which flowers can be sent to noted criminals, regulate cab fares, and determine all matters of etiquette in Tuxedo and Newport and other critical spots on the map. All debts, contracts or engagements entered into by the President or Con- gress shall be paid by a neat cheeque, engraved in old English type by a recog- nized society stationer, and when sent out shall be tied with a purple ribbon. The following tariff schedule shall im- cly go into effect Havana cigars—strictly prohibited from entering the country. Cigarettes—free French ¢ e dogs, D: nese spaniels and hairless toy All hair ee All other articles according to whims Hehed in Does Your Engine Pound? Pounding, misfiring, backfiring and premature explosions warn you to look for the hard carbon deposit |caused by unsuitable oil. In producing Polarine Oil we have practically eliminated the carbon-forming elements. At the same time we have pre- served its lubricating qualities. Polarine does not break up or lose elasticity under severe friction. It holds its “‘body”’ under extreme heat. It flows freely at zero. Before the final product leaves the plant it must test up to the most rigid standards ever set for a gas engine lubricant. On the road it has already demon- strated its high efficiency. larine The Polarine brand covers: Polarine Oil (in gallon and half gallon sealed cans, in barrels and half barrels), Polarine Transmission Lubricants, Polarine Cup Grease and Polarine Fibre Grease. These lubricants cover the needs of every part of the car. Send to our nearest agency for “Polarine Pointers" which includes hints on the care of motor cars. Standard Oil Company Incorporated comicbooks.com —