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Life, 1911-07-27 · page 33 of 40

Life — July 27, 1911 — page 33: what you’re looking at

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Life — July 27, 1911 — page 33: Life, 1911-07-27

What you’re looking at

This satirical piece mocks the actuarial approach to romance. An insurance agent uses statistical tables and mortality calculations to propose marriage, arguing that the woman's unmarried status at twenty-two puts her in a declining "risk category" for matrimony. He claims she should have received ten proposals by now and emphasizes that refusing him increases her actuarial risk. The humor lies in reducing human emotion and courtship to cold insurance mathematics. The agent's "love" is presented as merely a business decision—he proposes despite unfavorable odds because he's emotionally invested. The woman, apparently won over by this absurd logic rather than genuine affection, accepts. The satire critiques how early 20th-century American business logic invaded all aspects of life, treating even marriage as a calculable risk rather than an emotional commitment. It's also gently mocking insurance salesmen as a type.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

& William H. Wailing, A. wbolesome way in one volume Fe Biedicul' Ruowieuge a AM tn one volume, Itlustrated, $2. “postpaid. ‘Write tor" sod Table Op Puritan Pub. Co., 776 Perry “Bldg. Phi The Insurance Agent's Wooing Flothers,” says the dapper “T want you to marry me.” thought of “ Miss young man, “But I have never yet ng marned,” she evades. You should think of it,” he replies seriously, “What was your age on your last birthday? Twenty-two? Yes? And what is the date of your birthday? November sixteenth? Your age changes midway between birthdays. That is, May sixteenth next you will be listed as twenty-three years in the risk tables, Your chance of marriage is now good, but it decreases with an ratio. every year, When you are twenty-four—what is your chance? Actuarys’ statistics prove be- yond a doubt that the woman of twenty four has fifty per cent. less chance of marriage than the one of twenty. It's no time then till you are thirty. How chances have you of marrying then? One in ten. How many pro- posals have you had? One? Mine? Sce? Twenty-two years and only one proposal. Average life of a woman un married is eighty-two. That gives you three and cight-elevenths proposals in your whole life on the present age and ratio. As a matter of fact, you should have had ten proposals by this time, and according to the tables, you should have been married five times by now- that is, your age entitles you to that percentage. That you haven't been pro- posed to ten times and haven't been married five times decreases your chances and inercases your risk to such an extent that were it not for my per sonal interest in you I could not wri you a policy except for a high premium —I mean if I didn’t think so much of you I wouldn’t propose at all, because the figures show that it is as one to five that you will not be married, conse- five chances to one you see, I increasing many quently there are that you will reject me, but, forget the cold, bare figures because of my love for you, and. 7 “Well, my goodness! Why didn’t you tell me you loved me in the first place? Of course I'N marry you!” W. Dz A Happy Marriage Depends largely ona know! edge of the whole truth about self and sex and their relation to life and health. This knowledge does not come intelligently of itself, nor correctly from ordi every-day sources. SEXOLOGY (Ultustratea’ A1.D., iempatts in a clear, owledge vow tealee a owledlee ow leche Young Man sho us utd ‘have. Art to Tits Son, jd Have. ot Contents, .» Pa. "Other Peop! Bing Cambridge as *;, Morrisette, 2st” (gold tip! Anbessador ast Their lips met longly. This lady delighted the eye, the palate. Between her smile her false, but beautif I thought it my love. te Philip the ear, teeth showed, ‘The mental anchylosis fell by. another barrier between Ata door oa the floor above, gently, Morris caren: Cisarettes l' you've tried and failed to enjoy a PHILIP MORRIS the answer is simple. that suits your taste. cigarettes produce a different taste. you want Turkish tobacco, and nothing else, perfectly blended in a sunlit, sani- tary, Government inspected factory, get the size PHILIP MORRIS that suits your taste and stick to it. If your dealer does not stock your parti- cular size, send us his name and address and remittance for desired samples. “The Little Brown Box” PHILIP MORRIS & COMPANY, Ltd. 417 West Broadway, New York 487 St Catherine St., East, Montreal, Canada FACTORIES : New York Montreal Cairo Translations with two fingers, she tap moved back, and, as he _Phrases out of a translation called ly behind him, closed it ish, of Guy de Maupassant’s tales: Boss: drawer, Johnny; you a only people who had t drawer. Orrice Boy: Well," London You've never smoked the size Different size in If ped, opened it, entered, silent- —Independent. Making It Square There's $10 gone from my ¢ in dT were the e keys to that pose we each pay $s and say no more about it? —Philadelphia Bulletin comicbooks.com