Life — July 20, 1911 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“SUDDENLY SHE FELL UPON MIS NECK reason that we make a point of ting married occasionally, in order to ep in touch with our customers. On our recent honeymoon we were sub- jected to much painful publicity, but we did it in a good cause and hundreds will benefit by it during the next year. The first twelve months is always a pe- riod of Having been through three or four of such periods, we speak from actual experience, and what we are learning now will be in- corporated into every detail of this Bu- reau a little later. In connection with this subje we are on it, we should like to a kindly word of sympathy and encour- agement to all young husbands who have just returned from their honey- on and who are now—with us—try- ing to as much trouble as pos- sible under the most trying conditions. Don't wait. We are alwa: more suc- cessful with incipient cases. We can, even if you are reasonably happy, put and experi adjustment. while tend avoid you in touch with some old enced marricd man who may save you a lifetime of sorrow, There's nothing like an intimate communion with some of the old stagers who have suffered and learned. Send for our little book- let entitled Ine Hundred Ways to Avoid Having You w Home Deco- rated the Way Your Wife Thinks it Ought to be Done.” This alone is worth the price of our entrance fee. No publicity. Call, write or wire Open day and night. Look for the tall, handsome blonde on the right as you enter. Huspanos’ Corresroxpence Bureau. “LIFE: Maxims of the M.D.'s IRST ascertain if the patient's wealth Warrants health. (Better by far, if his cash is low, To grab all you can and let him Never talk plainly. Accentuate he ted state evere operations always pay If done in the most expensive way. his being restored to 20.) edical man’s e¢: Women quite often enjoy their ills And stand for the most atrocious bills. If possible, make your patients wait And tell 100 vem “you fear they've come ‘mark that “their health will be im- proved On having the adenoids removed.” When sending your bills be merciless— Follow these rules and you'll have suc cess, “HOW PERFECTLY MORRID OF JACK NOT TO Emergency Work AVING started the business of legis- lating for emergencies, let us keep right on and apply the idea generally. Under the present regulations for emergency currency, the Government is pa: s the people leave their money in the banks, But when the peo- ple want their money and the bankers haven't it, the agrees to step in and provide it. Now let us have ive so long Government work. mergency TYPOGRAPHICAL EXTRA CONDENSED OUTLINE AND OLD STYLE EXPANDED COULDN'T GET HERE" "PHONE ME IP ME When things run smoothly and work- ingmen have jobs, the Government may be passive. Wheti, however, the business men go to the working men and demand their jobs back, not because the work- ingmen have ceased to be efficient, but because the business men have ceased to be efficient enough to furnish ment at a profit to themselves, then would be perfectly proper for the Gov- ernment to supply emergency work. If a Government is no good in an emergency, it is no good at all. comicbooks.com