Life — July 13, 1911 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Distracted Parent: ucmen! Guide to Divorceland QUIPMEN : The regions you cross y arid and you will need all the protection possible. Any cloth- ing is good that covers the heart. Routes: These are various and all very good. For main routes, the Club, the Suffragette, the Childless are all recommended. The Wranglers and Hot Air Unlimited is much used. Prices: These vary according to indi- viduals. od accommodations can be obtained all along the route if you keep away from home Points of Interest: From the be- ginning, every scene is striking and picturesque and constantly va ries in interest. You leave the pleasant little station of Quarrel- ville, nestling among the valleys of Contention, and rising rapidly, are soon on the slope of Mount Dif- ference. Nagville is the first stop, This delightful little village is clustered on the side of the mountain aad there is something doing in it every minute, giving the heart and dis- exercise, The are usual position constent larger settlement of Incompatibili is a little higher up. You linger here for some time, enjoying the land slides and the freezing cli- mate. Going by way of Plate Throwing Junction, you mount to the City of Infidelity, which lies at the apex of the mountain, From IT'S WONDERFUL HOW LUCKY SOME PEOPLE ARE. thence it is a gradual descent, until you reach the further valley of Bit- terton Centre. Here the conductor calls “All off!” All around you are the high peaks of Constancy, Hope, Love and Manners. Plunging through a dark tunnel, you at last emerge into. the further valley of Resignation. There is no returning by route, No traveler wants to. In fact no one has ever been known to even inquire re- garding a round-trip ticket. the same WHAT'S IN A NAME? MK, WHITE AND MR, BLACK Loi and Behold "Ss the Tenements!" “Yes, they are very bad.” “No, they are very good.” “Very good! How now?" “They are very good investments.” “ And investments are?” “Ways of making money.” “I should think one would have to make a great deal of money to be Wwill- ing to live in such places?” “Ah, but the people who live there do not make the moncy.” \ “Do you mean that people get paid for not living there “Well, not exactly that. They get money for owning then.” “Well, what do the people get for living there?” They do not get anything. the ones who pay. What! Are they content to live there without being paid?” “No, they are not content. poor.” “If they are not content, there is some ultimate hope, perhaps. In the meantime, however, it looks like a good chance for a philanthropist.” “Your suggestion is too late. The philanthropist has already seen his op- portunity and seized it.” “Who is he and what has he done?” “He is the owner of the tenements. Even now he is helping to educate the negro and every week he sends money to the heathen, We Keep the Flag, Anyhow ATEST advices, coming by way of the Manchester (England) Guar- cian to our some genealogical sharps in Eng- Jand have upset the pedigree fur- nished to George Washington when he was President, and derive him now not from the Washingtons of Sulgrove, Northamptonshire, but from another branch of the same family in Lancashire. Dr. Galloway, Vicar of Shelby, in Lancashire, is named as the inven- tor of this theory, and report says he has found the Washington arms on a window in a church there. But never mind if the arms are the same as those of the Washing- tons of Sulgrove. Even if our George turned out to be somebody else we could bear 11, because to us he would still, and always, be Our George. But it would be awkward to have to do over our celebrated striped flag to conform to a new Washington coat of arms. They are They are newspape! © that comicbookMee 5