Life, 1911-05-25 · page 11 of 42
Life — May 25, 1911 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"An Imaginary Lecture"** presents Professor Golightly addressing Political Economy students. The satire mocks academic evasion of uncomfortable truths about wealth inequality. The professor warns students never to ask about waterlogged stocks, child labor in factories and mines, or the ethical basis of land ownership—essentially instructing them to ignore capitalism's exploitative realities while pursuing "science" of economics. **"The Co-ed"** cartoon below depicts women in period dress, likely satirizing early 20th-century gender dynamics. **"And Then What?"** and **"Hypocrisy"** are brief quips questioning market economics and political dishonesty. The overall message critiques how institutions sanitize economic theory while obscuring its brutal human costs.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
An Imaginary Lecture Delivered by Professor Golightly, of the En- dowment University, to the Class in Political Economy OUNG gentlemen: We might as well understand each other at the out- set. The object of this course is cul- ture, not education. It would not be proper for you.to graduate unable to say that you have studied political economy, but it would be suicide for us to tell you the real facts of the case. If, for instance, the question of wa- tered stock ever comes up, I beg that you will not press me for a satisfactory reply. This university now holds and derives an income from many stocks which are waterlogged to the dewpoint. If we educated the people to such facts, our endowments would decrease in num- ber and value and our income would ultimately vanish altogether. ‘Also, please, never ask me the real source of wealth, If it should ever oc- cur to you that a large part of this uni- versity would have to be abandoned, but for the ceaseless toil of countless chil- dren in sweatshops and mills and mines, do not embarrass me by asking about it. Do not ask me to explain the single tax or the ethical basis of land owner- ship, for a large part of our income is derived from valuable sites. Do not ask me to explain Socialism or any other scheme for a more equitable distribution of the fruits of labor. We are on the comfortable side of the pres- ent arrangement. Let us not look a gift horse in the mouth. If it so happens that those who do the meanest work get the meanest pay, let us accept it as the will of God or as an axiom in our pur- suit of knowledge. Do not ask me to explain the high cost of living, at least not to the point of making it lower. High prices mean high dividends. High dividends mean beautiful college, buildings and a high- salaried faculty. It is not for us to dwell upon the sordid side and emphasize such concomitant facts as squalid tenements and work- men under-nourished in mind and body. In short, young gentlemen, we are willing to take up most minutely the bygones of the middle ages and of more re- mote antiquity. We may even pursue science in so far as nec- essary to promote a more rapid and @ more easy production of wealth, but we cannot discuss with you the proper distribution of that wealth. We must keep away, not only from the practical side of the present, but from all pleas- ant dreams of the future. Ellis O. Jones. THE CO-ED UNQUENCHABLE And Then What? When speaking of other people, every word we think should pass through ‘three sieves before it gets to our lips: Is it true? Ts it kind? Is it necessary?—IWall Street Journal, ND then what? Of course, there will be market enough for the chaff that the sieves hold up, but what are you going to do with the rest? HYPOCRISY is alt right if we ean pass it off as politeness. comicbooks.com