Life, 1911-05-18 · page 13 of 42
Life — May 18, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece parodies Rudyard Kipling's famous poem "If——," substituting Kipling's virtuous ideals with cynical American pursuits. Each numbered section presents a "condition for success" in American life: 1. **Idle socializing** over substance 2. **Seducing married women** and flirting with chorus girls 3. **Gambling** (losing at cards/dice then bragging about losses) 4. **Heavy drinking** from lunch to sunset The cartoons illustrate these vices—tennis, infidelity, gambling, and bar culture. The satire critiques American materialism, moral decay, and shallow leisure pursuits among the well-to-do. By inverting Kipling's moral framework (which celebrated restraint and integrity), Life mocks contemporary American society's actual values, suggesting that success derives not from virtue but from vice and self-indulgence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
oft Sal cal Se 99 4 . . lr— (or Country Life in America) (With apologies to R. Kipling) F you can talk to little girls of twenty— If you can make one heap of all your winnings, If you can talk and not make thoughts your aim— And lose it all at bridge or pitch and toss, But fill the conversation good and plenty And borrowing—start again at your beginnings, With subjects that are anything but tame; And boast to everyone about your loss; Haren Inoue 4 If you can make a friend's wife leave her kiddies, If you can drink a highball every minute, Her husband and her fireside just for you; From lunch until the rising of the sun, If you can flirt with chorus girls and biddies Yours is the game—and everything that’s in it, And paint the town a very livid hue; And—which is more—you'll be a sport, my son! comicbooks.com