Life, 1911-05-04 · page 24 of 56
Life — May 4, 1911 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **Top illustration**: "The Monorail Breakfast and Dressing Table for Commuters" depicts an absurdly futuristic contraption allowing commuters to eat and dress while traveling to work in one minute. The satire mocks contemporary obsession with time-saving technology and efficiency. **"A Rival for the Carnegie Foundation"**: Critiques Dr. Bryan's proposal for a separate charitable fund. The satire highlights hypocrisy: colleges abandon religious affiliations to access Carnegie's secular funding, yet Bryan wants to reward those retaining religious control. Life's editors argue Carnegie's conditions harm neither religion nor instruction—only denominational power. **"The Exact Thing"**: Sarcastically praises Cardinal Gibbons's circular logic: people deserve fair treatment; in return, they should treat business justly. Life notes the absurd tautology—Gibbons doesn't say people should reciprocate for *actual* fair treatment received, only treatment they "deserve"—mocking vague corporate-friendly platitudes. **Bottom cartoon**: A darkly humorous advertisement seeking cats/dogs for medical labs "no questions asked" — satirizing unethical animal procurement practices at universities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE MONORAIL BREAKFAST AND DRESSING TABLE FOR COMMUTERS ONE MINUTE FROM YOUR HOME TO THE STATION A Rival for the Carnegie Foundation R, BRYAN of jicago, a Presbyterian minister, wants to raise a fund © the Carnegie Foundation Fund, for the benefit of colleges founded by religious bodies and not yet quit of control by them, which for that reason are not eligible for assistance from the Carnegie Foundation. Dr. Bryan is scandalized at the way some of the colleges have cut loose from their old church affiliations to get the benefit of the Laird’s benefactions Tt has been somewhat scandalous on the surface. Some of the colleges have given up old funds of considerable size which were hitched to pious conditions which made their retention incompatible with acquisition of the Carnegie bene- fit. Dr. Pritchett in his reports has told all about all these cases, and they make interesting reading. There is plenty of room for such a fund as Dr. Bryan suggests, if it can be raised, for the Carnegie Foundation has about reached the limits of its income, but it is the opinion of most pious observers who have looked into the matter that the Carnegie fund, with its secularizing conditions, is doing no harm to religion in the colleges. It affects only denomi- national control and the exaction of religious tests from col- lege officers, It docs not affect religious influences or in- struction inside the colleges. Religious teaching and org: zation abound in the great universities in the list of the Car- negie Foundation. Dr. Bryan could get a hearing in any of them. Mr, Carnegic’s sentiments are much more liberal than those of Stephen Girard, who provided that no priest or min- ister should ever sect foot inside of Girard College. The Exact Thing ARDINAL GIBBONS says: “The people deserve fair and honest treatment, and in return they should treat the big business interests justly.” We should like to add our humble “amen” to this ex- ccllent advice. It scems to hit the nail exactly on the head. What, on the one hand, could he fairer than just treatment, and, on the other hand, what could be juster than fair treat ment? The only point we could possibly object to is a slight ambi guity. The Cardinal doesn’t say the people should treat the interests justly in return for the fair and honest treatment which they get, but merely for the fair and honest treat- ment which they deserve. This would make a good deal of difference, but to dwell on it in view of the Cardinal's evident good intentions would he straining at gnats. For the Entertainment of Medical Students HIS cheerful ad. appears in a paper published at the Uni- versity of Minnesota: Wanted at once--several cats or small dogs for laboratory pets Color no consideration. Please deliver to Biological Department No questions asked. Owners need not be identified. “pornc” Goop FoR EVIL, Comicbooks.com