Life — April 20, 1911 — page 48: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Steinway is the only make of piano known in every city, town and hamlet of the globe. This international re- nown could only have been achieved by its vast sup jority over all others, and the unqualified endorsement of the Steinway Pianos by all nations. The Steinway Miniature A grand piano in small compass— S feet 10 inches. Made to retain all the essentials of a true grand, Price in Ebonized Case, $800. In Mahogany Case, $900. The name of the Steinway dealer nearest you, together with illustrated literature, will be sent upon request and mention of this magazine, STEINWAY & SONS STEINWAY HALL 107 and 109 East 14th Street, New York Subway Express Station at the Door Arrewsoon Tea on Deck eant Bon Voyage Box A gift that reflects thoughtfulness for the coyager is Dean's Bon Voyage Box filled with Dean's Celebrated Cakes. Dainty, crisp and appetizing, they double the delights of afternoon tea on board ship. A handsome metal box, with lock and handle, useful when emptied, keeps contents fresh. Out-of-town patrons, who will make themselves known by satisfactory references, may send mail or telegraph orders, which will be charged to their accounts. (We require aboul twco weeks to investigate references.) Prices: $6, 87, $12, $15 and $20. Illustrated Price List sent promptly on request. 628 FIFTH AVENUE 7 NEW YORK leblisbed 72 years BY BILL NYE Yesterday morning, between three and four o'clock, we were called from our bed by the presence of a sorrel cow, with an inadequate tail, in the grounds of our winter palace, She ‘had eaten a row of tuberoses and some mignonette, to sweeten her breath, when we came up behind her with a bed slat and smote her on the snoot. While merrily romping with her over the velvety lawn, our attention was suddenly called to a large two hundre« and fifty dollar comet, nor’west by nor’ and about three feet above the horizon, with its tail over the dashboard. When first seen it was in perihelion with the dome of the courthouse, but while we watched it, cither the court- house changed its position or we did, and the space became more clearly defined. Some are of the opinion that this comet is the one that appeared about twenty-five years ago, but our idea is that it is a new one that has never becn used. It is something the style of Roscoe Conkling, with a more subdued and pensive air, however, and is making good time. It has a nucleus that shines with a nebulous light. It also carries with it a hyperbola and a parabola, in a com mon valise. A well-known astronomer claims that this is a comet which, according to the books, was not due yet for fifteen hundred years. There must be some mistake, however, unless it lost something when it was here five hundred years ago, and has returned to see if it cannot find it Still, its running time may have been changed in order to stir up competition with other comets. We had no time fully to investigate the wonderful celestial phenomenon, as people began to pass where we were taking observations, and, noticing our simple costume, called the attention of other people to us, and in a short time a large and demonstrative audience had gathered near us, which disturbed our scientific researches and concluded the early morning session. He Laughed Last A young man was sitting in the Grand Central Depot the other day, holding a baby in his arms, when the child began to cry so lustily as to attract the attention of every one around him. By and by a waiting passenger wi over to him with a smile of pity on his face and said: “A woman gave you that baby to hold while she went to see about her baggage, didn’t she? ” “Yes.” “Ha! ha! ha! I tumbled to the fact as soon as I saw you. You expect her back, I suppose?” “ OF course.” . “Hal ha! ha! This is rich! ‘Looking for her every minute, aren't you?” “Yes, and I think she’ll come back.” “Well, this makes me laugh—ha! ha! ha! I had a woman play that same trick on me in a Chicago depot once, but no one ever will again. Young man, you've been played on for a hayseed. I would advise you to turn that baby over to a policeman and get out of here before some newspaper reporter gets hold of you.” “Oh, she'll come back, she'll come back.” “She will, ch? The joke grows richer and_ richer. N what makes you think she'll me back?” “ Because she’s my wife and this is our baby.” “Oh—um—I sce,” muttered the fat man, who got over feeling tickled all at once, and, seeing a dog that a farmer had tied to one of the seats with a picce of clothesline, he went over and gave it three swift kicks. —Anonymous (Concluded on page 813) comicbooks.com