Life — March 30, 1911 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Trip You’ll Never Forget or Regret NewYork to NewOrleans ON LUXURIOUSLY APPOINTED 10,000 TONS SOUTHERN PACIFIC -STEAMSHIPS Choice of Rail Lines Returning Pleaded Case on Merit A man traveling westward on a through express one day last week left his seat in the crowded dining car just after he had ordered his luncheon, He went to get something he had forgotten in the Pullman. When he returned, in spite of the fact that he had left a magazine on the chair in the diner, he found a handsomely dressed woman in his place. He pro- tested with all the politeness he could muster, but the wcman turned on him with flashing eyes, “Sir,” she remarked haughtily, “do you know that I am one of the directors’ wives?” “My dear madam,” he responded, “ if you were the director’s only wife I should still ask for my chai-.”—Phila- delphia Times. Correct “What is the best thing to induce chest expansion?” “ Medals."—Brooklyn Life. ickets may be purchased and trip started at interior points, ith choice of rail lines to New York or New Orleans. For all information address L.H. NUTTING, = 1158 or 1 Broadway, EUROPE 70 Spring and Summer Toars at inclusive fares to all parts of Europe, comprising Toate de Luge and Long and ‘Short Vaca- Son Joe plete oe Passencex: Was the cat on the line? CORONATION OF Conpuctor: Why, of course not. We ING GEORGE V. A ‘Poureticwonhoe ia tinc chased up an alley after her.—Chicago Summer Tours to Oriental Lands, Daily Socialist. ROUND THE WORLD Tours de Luxe leave Westbound during Aug.,Sept.,Oct. Eastbound, Nov., Dec.,Jan. SOUTH ANERICA™Complete tour leaves Jaly 1. THOS. COOK & SON 245 Broadway, 264 Fifth Avenue, EW YORK: 553 Fifth Avenue, 649 Madison STON, 322 Washington St Petit apetrntta.t37 South n MICAOD. a6 sets Clare St, Stn Feane on JONTRMAL, 53081. CaterineSt. W 40 OFFICES ABROAD — Aife Is One Grand Thing After Another For Those Who Drink Foolishness Conpuctor to Passencer: We ran over a cat down the line. Two of a Kind “Oh, George!” sighed the lovesick maiden, “I'm sure I'm not worthy to be your wif “Well,” replied George wearily, “I'm not worthy to be your husband, so we're just about matched.”—The Catholic Standard and Times. enue. YOURS FOR THE HAPPY LIFE Restaurants, Cales, Lotater Palaces and Dealers C.IL, EVANS & SONS, Hudson, N.Y, Established 1786 CRUISES tothe JOPotheWORLD During June, July and August A Quiet Eulogy A well-known Unitarian ministes, called to other duties, preached last Sun- day his last sermon before the installa- Arrange your summer vacation to cover these delightful cruises. From Hamburg on the large twin-screw steam- ships BLUECHER, KRONPRINZESSIN CECILIE, METEOR — duration 13 to 24 days. Rates $62.50 upwards. Visiting Norway, Spitzbergen, North tion of his successor. The local weekly paper, announcing the order of services, gave it as follows: “ Sermon by the Rev. solo and quartet, ‘Hushed at Length.’"—Western Christian Advocate. Caron! Bitters—Unexcelled with Lemonade, Soda, Gin, ry and Whiskey. Indispensable for a perf it. Oct. C, Blache & Co., 78 Broad St., N.Y. His Motto “You go around borrowing moucy, and yet you seem to be prosperous.” “Tam.” “How do you manage it?” “My motto is, ‘ Always put off till morrow those you have done to-day. —Toledo Blade. Cape, Iceland, Scotland,Orkney and Faroe Islands and the seaside resorts of Europe. Around theWorld Cruises! Under the most desirable conditions on the floating hotel S. S, CLEVELAND (17,000 tons), sailing from New York, November 1, 1911. Second Cruise leaving San Francisco, February 17, 1912 Duration 110 Days. aries $650 uy) rds; including all necessary expenses aboard and asfore. Visiting Madeira, Spain, Italy, Egypt (Sue Canal), India, Ceylon, Straits Settlements, lava, Philippines, China, Japan, Sandwich I-lands and Overland Am can Tour, Write for further information. HAMBURG-AMERICAN LINE 1334 Walnut Se. Philadelghia Ging. ive St. St. Louis. well St., San Fra taba ‘Offices in all the principal cities of the world. 638 comicbooks.com