Life — March 30, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE- 617 SHIPWRECK Society Note HE marriage yesterday of Lord Borrowmore, the titled English fortune-hunter, to Miss Goldie Dividends, the wealthy American title-hunter, was a complete success in every way. Long before daybreak the populace began to gather in front of the Church of the Sacred Shares. The police had been notified and at ten o'clock three thousand reserves were called out to quell the disturbance. Promptly at one thirty the newspaper correspondents ar- rived and took their places at various vantage points. At two the newspapers began to issue extras and continued to do so at half-hour intervals throughout the entire afternoon and well into the evening. Although the rehearsal had been held the day before, there was a preliminary ceremony for the benefit of the mov- ing picture rights. This was held just before the regular ceremony, in order that the crowds might be included. As Miss Dividends has never been known to appear twice in the same costume, she then went home and donned an en- tire new outfit, Lord Borrowmore chatting pleasantly with the reporters in the meantime. At three thirty Miss Dividends arrived and was interviewed. At four o'clock the ceremony took place and they all went home to breakfast, before and after which they made state- ments to the press. Shortly after dusk, the happy couple, accompanied by 2 retinue of reporters, left on the honeymoon, an entire cean liner having been engaged for that purpose. As the couple is now well known to the police, it is under- stood there will be no further trouble. The Vagabond Vicarious WONDER: Mr. Would-Be-Rover, wander all you want to wander, Hit the trail the wide world over to the land of “’Way out yonder”; Go and seek the sizzling tropics or the source of Borealis, Go and talk on many topics to the Shogun in his palace; Roam the open road and free one—never mind the wind or weather— Talk to hoboes—go and be one; quit your job and slip your tether ; Seek the Southern seas so mellow; seek the lands of dream and myth, you Truly ought to go, old fellow, but I guess I won't go with you! ; For I love to hear the poct as he sings his little carol Telling how he hopes to go it in his vagabond apparel, But I know, on closer study, / should find the trip unpleasant When the roads were very muddy and the unromantic peasant Took us for the genus vagrant and pursued us helter-skelter, Swearing ‘twas a crime most flagrant that we used his barn for shelter; Oh, it’s great, I don’t deny it—all this talk of “hearts un- caring,” But I guess I'll let you try it—you can write me how you're faring. You can hike along the highways just as far as you can toddle, But your ways will not be my ways; I am such @ mollycoddle That I fear my feet would gall me as we skipped o'er vale and hummock And the road would cease to thrall me if I had an empty stomach. So I'll stay right here, my brother, putting down my three meals daily, While you take some trail or other, with a heart that’s beat- ing gaily, Whiie you—what? You've thought it over, and you guess you'll do without it? That's the way! Don’t be a rover; stay at home and read about it! Berton Braley. PALMY DAYS ABROAD Extract from tourist’s diary: I Was Received Everywhere With Outstretched Hands comicbooks.com