Life, 1911-03-02 · page 16 of 52
Life — March 2, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early-1900s women's fashion through the perspective of a woman driven to madness by extreme style demands. The poem depicts a progression of increasingly restrictive and impractical fashions: corsets that prevent breathing, enormous hats weighted with fruit and flowers that obstruct vision, and "hobble gowns" that make walking impossible. The satire's point: blind adherence to fashion trends creates physical suffering and mental breakdown. The woman's violent attack on her doctor (striking him with a hat-pin, cutting with scissors) represents the breaking point of this absurdity. The final epitaph mocks how women conform to fashion magazines without questioning whether the styles are actually functional or sensible. This reflects genuine contemporary complaints about Edwardian fashion's impracticality—particularly the S-bend corset and hobble skirt—while criticizing women's perceived willingness to sacrifice health and mobility for appearance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ASH WEDNESDAY The Maniac TAY, jailer, stay and hear my woe; She is not mad who kneels to thee, Listen a moment ere you go; Turn not upon my prayer the key. Once I was happy, blithe and gay; Fond memory even now beguiles ‘That time so sweet. Alack-a-day ! I tried to follow all the styles. 1 first remember how it, seemed To put the web-legged corset on. I laced it up, and then I dreamed Some demon bade my breath begone! The spring had come; beneath my hair I pinned a pompadourean rat ; And from its tissue-paper layer Took forth my bushel-basket hat. A lovely thing—a rose—a grape— A bird—a carrot and a pear: A bunch of smilax and a drape Of pink prune blossoms here and there. I pressed it down upon my head, And pinned it on relentlessly Then all grew dizzy, dark and dread, I tried in vain. I COULD NOT SEE! But still T smiled beneath the brim, T knew I wore Dame Fashion's crown; And then to suit her latest whim I ordered out my hobble gown. They tied and hooked me like an cel. I gasped and groped and tried to talk. 1 moved—I stirred—I seemed to feel A thrill of life—BUT COULD NOT WALK! ‘Twas then I took the hat-pin out And struck the doctor to the floor; I scized the scissors with a shout And snipped at him until he swore. Of, give me back my hobble hat, And plant the prune vine in my hair. Return to me my web-legged rat, The bird, the carrot and the pear! Then hook me up and hook me down, And lace me there and lace me here. Button and loop me in my gown And pin a rose behind my ear. Bury me in a smilax bed, Beneath the weeping willow plume. Put hat pins all around my head, And write this warning on my tomb: “Here lies a lady, dressed to kill, Like those you see in fashion books. She looked exactly like them, till One day she hobbled off the hooks!" Kate Masterson. The Two John D.'s TANDARD OIL has produced oil and money, and Standard Oil money has produced more things than it is con- venient to name, Of all the Standard Oil products, di- rect and indirect, there is none more re- markable than the younger John D. We are fallible like other folks, but in so far as we can discern, young John’s paramount interest in life is to make money do good. In what measure he suc- ceeds we don't know, but he does seem to try all the time. Is there anywhere a more interesting reaction ffom an acquisitive parent? It is possible that John D., the elder, shares the reaction. Please tell us, Signor Ferrero and other historical experts, jis there record that any civilization in any age produced a pair the like of the two John D.'s? An Upward Move HE bill introduced in the New York Assembly by Mr. James J. Hoey is 3 step in the right direction, It author- izes the Governor to appoint a comm sion which shall consist of seven mer bers, two of whom shall be physicians or scientific men, residing in this State, two of whom shall be active members of some organization of this State, having for its purpose the prevention of unnecessary cruelty in vivisection, two of whom shall be lawyers practicing within this State, and the remaining member of the com- mission shall be appointed at large. Here's power to his elbow! Superfluous cruelty is no help to edu- cation. Beene Three hearts that beat as one. A LOCATION , NEAR BROADWAY, ON TILE MAND SIDE GOING DOWN.” RIGHT- comicbooks.com