Life — February 2, 1911 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

258 of the chairman of our entertainment committee. We have wired our friend to come on at once; at the end of a nonth we will restore him to his wife, revivified, reconstructed and pénsive, and she will be so glad to sce him that in a short time all the old love and hom- age will return with renewed force. It must be remembered, however, that the management of husbands under these conditions requires a wide experi- ence and a knowledge of the human heart given to but few. A step too far and all would be chaos. We are the only husbands’ correspond- ence Bureau in the field with whom it would be safe for any wife to entrust her husband. Our methods are drastic, swift, and sure. We heal by natural methods; and we do not recagnize any hypocritical prudery. We give every husband a grand time at a minimum cost, either in this country or in Paris Remember that every communication is in the strictest confidence. No matter how bad your case is, we tell you how to get away from home. Send for our pamphlet, “One Thousand Ways of Leaving Wifey.” In the meantime, if your case 1s urgent, wire us at once. Open day and night. Personal consulta- tions arranged for in advance. Does your wife nag you? Are you completely under her control? Do you long for relief? Tell us frankly just how you are suffering, and we will guarantee a cure—except in the case of suffragitis or Christian Science. Huspanps’ Corresronpence Bureau. “WHY ARE THEY MAKING SUCH A FUSS OVER THAT OLD CHAP?” “MY DEAR FELLOW, THAT IS SENATOR CAROMEL. HE FOR BRIBERY.” HAS JUST BEEN INDICTED Mr. Morgan and His Rescue Work UR valued contemporary, the Roch- ester Union and Advertiser found recent occasion to observe: When it was announond that J. P. Morgan had agreed to protect two New York banks which are in a dangerous condition by reason of the failure on Saturday of the Carnzgie Trust Company, the untiinking were inclined perhaps to regard Mr. Morgan as a man of generous impulses or ever of extremely pat otic nature. But, whatever Mr. Murgan's impulses may be, or however he may regard the <ecurity and peace of ais native Jand, he need not be praised for work of this kind, except on account of his perspicacity in ré agnizing the best course to pursue in the matter. It goes on to expound why Mr. Morgan does not deserve special credit for anything he does to keep things go- ing straight in the financial world, be- cause his interests are very extensive, “and it pays him not to let the country 0 to the bow-wows. About as much as that might be said cf the Almighty. This is His world, and if signs indicate at times that He is looking out for it, of course, it’s no more than we have a right to expect. Nevertheless the signs do produce in some minds a grateful sense of confi- dence and relief. But the unthinking may as well continue to regard Mr. Morgan as a man of generous impulses and even of extremely patriotic nature A large proportion of the thinking have the same idea about him. The Union and Advertiser says he “never suffers loss by rescues of banks or railroads and by his * savings of situations.’ Oh, yes. he does, at times, but not in the long run and on the whole. If he did he could not stay in the rescue business The man who rescues to his own loss does weli, but the man who rescues to his profit does even better, for that makes rescue work respected by the astute and gives the wary courage to take the risks of it. That’s why Wall Street smiles when Mr. Morgan exacts his price for some great salvage, made necessary by reck- lessness, thievery, or mismanagement. His labors and the fines that he exacts make for honest and responsible man- agement of business, and especially of the business of taking care of other people’s money. comicbooks.com