Life, 1911-01-26 · page 3 of 44
Life — January 26, 1911 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Literary Zoo"** section opens with a Theodore Hooke anecdote about Hamilton Wright Mabie, a prominent literary figure. The joke: when Hooke encountered Mabie reading pompously, he sarcastically asked "Pray, sir, are you anybody in particular?"—mocking Mabie's self-importance. **The main advertisement** is "The Clear Track," promoting Bell Telephone's long-distance capabilities. It emphasizes the system's infrastructure (copper wires, ten million miles of wire, five million phones) and efficiency—enabling communication across vast distances without travel. **The bottom cartoon** depicts beetles discussing a pinch or sneeze, appearing to be light naturalistic humor rather than political satire. The page blends literary mockery with early-twentieth-century telecommunications boasting, typical of Life's mix of cultural commentary and advertising.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Al. What Would Hamilton Wright Mabie Say? There is a characteristic story of Theodore Hooke that makes me long to it Hamilton Wright Mabie. Hooke, at the height of his fame as a wit, saw a pompous person walking down the Strand. “ Pray, sir,” said Hooke, striding up to Mr. Pomposity, “are you anybody in particular?” And I, whenever I see that photograph of Hamilton Wright Mabie poring over a book, long to open the door of his study, tiptoe over to his desk and say, in a whisper: “ Pray, sir, are you anybody in particular?” What would Hamilton Wright Mabie say? What could Hamilton Wright Mabie say? My Marie Corelli Now I have never even dreamed that Marie Corelli could by any possibility consent to marry me, but I have per- suaded myself that I am just the hus- band for her. I have studied her novels as Galileo did the stars, and consequently I know what Marie Co- relli would expect of the man she married. I should have to write letters to the newspapers abusing the brewers. ‘OLD OVERHOLT RYE-please” and it is instantly knowa that yours is an epicurean taste. Among the most intelligeat and refined whiskey users OVERHOLT is in greatest demand and most popular. Distilled and Bottled In Bond by A. Overholt & Co., Pittebureh, Pa. “The Clear Track” Two mena thousand miles apart talk to each other by telephone without leaving their desks. Two wires of copper form the track over which the talk travels from point to point throughout a continent. Moving along one railroad track at the same time are scores of trains carrying thousands of passengers. The telephone track must be clear from end to end to carry the voice of one customer. The Bell system has mere thaa ten million miles of wire and reaches over five million telephones. This system is operated by a force of one hundred thousand people and makes seven billion connections a year—twenty million “clear tracks” a day for the focal and long dis- tance communication of the Ameri- can people. The efficiency of the Bell system depends upon “One System, One Policy, Universal Service.” AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY Anp AssociaTeD ComPANIES My favorite poet would have to be Shakespeare. But above and beyond all else would be the necessity of keep- ing my hands off Marie Corelli. Noth- ing fills her with such a sense of contamination as the touch of a man. It would be imperative that I avoid the slightest appearance of masterful- ness—but no! I am risking a blunder in saying that. I should look master- ful, like Rochester in Jane Eyre, but be (Continued on page 196) 195 Beetle: a pincn oF sNuFF? Wasp: craciot No! IP 1 WERE TO SNEEZE, I'D SNEE; “y Bopy oFF! comicbooks.com