Life, 1911-01-19 · page 30 of 44
Life — January 19, 1911 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humor pieces typical of early 20th-century Life magazine satire: **"Aut Scissors Aut Nullus"** mocks parents who use exaggerated baby-talk ("itsie-bitsie," "goo-goo") with their children, then wonder why the child doesn't develop proper speech. The satire is straightforward: you cannot teach language through nonsense sounds. **"Basement Was Vacant"** is a brief anecdote about someone describing various living arrangements, but the punchline is cut off in this OCR—the humor likely involves the absurdity of their housing situation. **"She Guessed"** presents a social comedy: two women at a reception discuss an inattentive man. The younger assumes he's upset with her; the older reveals he's actually her own husband—the joke being that the man ignores his own wife while being polite to strangers. The page also includes poetry ("The Valley of Vain Verses") and a **G&J Tire Company advertisement** emphasizing quality, service, and cost-efficiency. The humor reflects period concerns about child-rearing, domestic life, and social etiquette.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
sAUT SCISSORS Aut NULLUs Is it Any Wonder ? “Him wuzza tootest itsie-bitsie pecious lovie lamb, And him des a sweetest pittic-ittie singie, yes, him am, Wis ‘im tunnin’ itsie footsie, an’ sayin’ ‘ Goo-goo-goo!" Was him muzzer’s ownest Loysie—cootsie-coo!!!" him Him lambie To this the baby listens by the hour and day and week— And yet his mother wonders why he doesn’t learn to speak ! Ladies’ Home Journal. Basement Was Vacant “Did you place? madam—a week with the family y you were a month in The Valley of Vain Verses The grief that is but feigning, And weeps melodious tears Of delicate complaining From the self-indulgent years; The mirth that is but madness And has no inward gladness Beneath its laughter, straining To capture thoughtless ears. The love that is but passion Of amber-scented lust ; The doubt that is but fashion; The faith that has no trust These Thamyris disperses In the Valley of Vain Verses Below the Mount Parnassian, And they crumble into dust. —Afblantic. She Guessed Two ladies, previously unacquainted, were conversing at a reception. After a few. conventional remarks the younger exclaimed : “I cannot think what has up set that tall blond man over there. He was so attentive a little while a) on the top floor, a week with a lady on the third floor, a week on the a week on the ground floor. —Meggendorfer Blactter. second and “wy DOESN'T JACK-IN-THE-PULPIT BE- GIN THE SERVICE? he won't look at me now.” “ Perhaps,” said the other, “ he saw me come in. He's my husband.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. ablished every Thursday, simuktancously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and ‘Add: ostage to foreign countries in the Postal cents, Single curr Back numbers, after three form date of publiration, 25 cents. 9 contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope does no ilselp responsible Jor the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Lape is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The International News Company, Breams Live Chancery Lan. London. B.C. . Es ’ England, AGENTS, n'a News Exchanges, 16 s no's. 37 Ave. de VOpers. Pars, ¥. C.. London: 148 Ree og The text and illustrations in Lape are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Pritsin argy to Live 114 Southampton Row, London, W. C. Promt notification should be sent by subscribers of cny change of cddress. One naturally follows the other Look for this trade-mark and you can be sure of getting tires that cost least per mile of service. Write for Price List mpuanaroris, isp. G & J TIRE COMPANY arancnzs ry aun LARGE CITES comicbooks.com