Life — January 19, 1911 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

176 -LIFE- Priscilla Makes an Important Announcement H, girls, I’ve got such a secret! A very rich woman—and her name is the secret—is going to endow a Suffragette College. She in- herited her fortune from her husband, who was one of the tyrant sex, and the money is therefore somewhat tainted, but that doesn’t make any dif- ference. Now it is going to be devoted to a good cause—our Cause. The Suffragette College will teach plain nd fancy Suffragetting in all its branches. Beginning with the Suffragette kindergar- ten, where little girls just beginning to talk will be taught to scream “ Votes for Women!” in unison, and where the build- ing blocks will have pictures of men beat- ing their wives, men refusing their wives money to buy hobble skirts and false hair, men driving women away from the polls and other instructive object lessons, the courses will go on through all the inter- mediate stages up to the highest grades. Young women will be taught how to make speeches on strect corners without blushing at the remarks of their rude male hearers. They will have lessons in practical billposting and some of our dearest leaders will deliver lectures on the best ways to secure no- loricty and get their names into the newspapers. The news- paper editors are foolish males and this last-named course will probably be considered a “ soft” elective. The degrees to be conferred by the Suffragette College will be S.S. and M.S. The first means Suffragette Spinster and the other Mistress of Suffragetting. Later on the college will award to distinguished Suffragettes the honorary degree of D. SS., meaning Damnatx Suffragettz, or, in English, Dis- tinguished Suffragettes. Isn't it lovely! ISS ALICE STONE BLACKWELL, one of our dear Boston _ sisters, whose genius for getting her name into the newspapers al- most equals that of Mrs. Bel- mont, writes a letter to a New York daily over her own signature, charging the London newspapers with hav- ing entered into a conspiracy to keep our dear English sisters from advertising themselves in the news columns of the Lon- don dailies. She says that the London editors not only refuse to print the nice long letters our English sisters write, but that they either do not mention at all or devote very little space to the mectings and other doings of Suffragettes. Our Boston sister calls this an outrageous conspiracy and she is quite right. But what better can we expect so long as only men, and for the most part stupid men, are permitted to say what shall and what shall not be printed in the news- papers. HE New York Sun, which is no friend of Suffragettes, or I of any other persons who are trying to get their names into print, says: . W. Barbee, a lawyer of Greeley, Col., said yes- terday at the Belmont that when he left Denver Sun- day night everybody was warmly discussing the prob- able abolition of woman's suffrage by the incoming legislature. “Of course, an amendment to the Constitution would have to be submitted to the people, but it looks as if sentiment in Colorado were Goris in favor of such an amendment. Personally I am neutral on the subject, but my observation is that woman suffrage has worked well in the rural districts, but has been a bad thing in Denver, where it is notorious that the vote of the immoral women of the city is controlled by one man.” I don’t know who this Barbee person is, but as he is a male he is probably lying. Every Suffragette knows that in Colorado and every other State where women have the ballot all the evils which disgraced the politics of those States when only men voted have completely disappeared. HEAR that the members of the Women's Protective Association read letters protesting against the high trolley car steps at their annual meeting yesterday, If the Public Service Commission fails to consider their appeal, they assert, they will take more drastic measures. That is entirely as it should be. The rights of the hobble skirt must and shall be pre- served. GRAND talkfest is to be held by our dear sisters at the Broadway Theatre on January 16. Some of the best-known gentle- men Suffragettes are to speak and of course all our peerless leaders will be there and their speeches will all be nicely typewritten and tied up with yellow ribbons ready to hand out to the reporters. There is only one prospective cloud on the occasion. The house is to be decorated in yellow and every one, including the ushers will wear yellow rosettes. The band instruments will be swathed in yellow ribbons with one exception, The bass-drummer is a German male tyrant, who does not believe in the Cause, and he will not permit us to put yellow ribbons on the bass-drum and will not wear a yellow rosette on his coat. We can’t have him discharged, because he belongs to the union and we don't know what to do. He is nothing but an obstinate Dutchman, with the accent on the man. WHOLE lot of the dear sisters have been doing a heroic thing and almost every one of them got her name in the papers. Twenty members of Mrs. Harriot Stanton Blatch’s Political Equality Union armed with buckets of paste and brushes posted bills in various parts of New York announcing the coming lecture of Miss Sylvia Pancake, the English Suffra- gist, at the Carnegie Lyceum, The party was formed at the clubrooms and the members started out in pairs. Mrs. Blatch and Miss Elizabeth Elsworth Cooke took the territory from Thirty-first to Forty-third Street up Broadway. Among the hillposters were Mrs. Blatch, Mrs. Nora Blatch de Forest, Miss Caroline Lexow, Miss Alberta Hill, Mrs. Townsend, M Sarah Splint, Mrs. John Winters Brannon, Mrs. John Rogers, Jr., Dr. Jane Berry, Mrs. H. W. Graham and Miss Frances Maul. Isn't that wonderful! Athens in its palmiest days could never boast such a splendid collection of ecclesiazuse. They are a band of noble women nobly doing a noble wor! Long may they live and often may they get their names in print. Give us notoriety or give us death! PRISCILLA JAWBONES comicbooks.com