Life, 1911-01-12 · page 38 of 44
Life — January 12, 1911 — page 38: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising with some editorial content**—typical of early 20th-century Life magazine. The main editorial piece is a rhymed book review of Arnold Bennett's *How to Live on Twenty-four Hours a Day*, written by Arthur Guiterman. The satire gently mocks Bennett's self-help philosophy about time management. Guiterman humorously catalogs how people actually spend their day (sleeping 9 hours, working with "laggard powers," etc.), then sarcastically urges readers to use every spare moment productively—studying Epictetus, reading about real estate or "bunco-man" schemes, or becoming a Yogi. The joke is that Bennett's earnest advice about maximizing time is absurdly demanding. The advertisements include Welch's Grape Juice, Durham Duplex Razors, and Abbott's Bitters (a patent medicine claiming to reduce body fat without diet or exercise—typical of the era's dubious health claims). A small "Misunderstood" joke about a fly in soup appears at bottom left—standard vaudeville humor of the period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
VA Grape Juice’ Anhiversary",”y a . HATEVER the occasion, pledge many happy returns in WELCH’S. | The pure juice of richest Concords, always fresh, and tinglingly delicious. Serve it as it comes to you, or write today for our free book of re- cipes for punches, Sherbets, desserts, ete Millions of people tind WELCH'’S an inexpen- sive daily luxury At you deaters—-or 1 doz pint case express {ree cast of Omaha $300 Sample 4 oz bottle. tailed, 10¢ Welch Grape Juice Co. Weetfeld, N.Y, Misunderstood Axcry Dixew: Waiter, there's a fly in this soup! Patient Waitex: Yes, sir. “Remove st at once! “The fly, sir?” “No. you idiot; the soup” “And Icave the fly, sir?” —Yonker’s Statesman. SEE E* Rhymed Reviews How to Live on Twenty-four Hours a Day (By Arnold Bennett, George H, Doran Company) “You have no time”? The moments whizz; This cant of “lack of time” is plaguy. O Man, you've all the time there is: What more has Gould or A. Car- negie? But use your wealth of time with awe; What goes is gone beyond retrieve- ment. Remember, Time's the only raw Material of All Achievement. Observe this miracle, a Day, Replete with four-and-twenty hours Of which but seven, let us say, You spend in worl with laggard powers; You slept through nine (and ‘rose too late); Sixteen are gone—enough to scare you, But how about the other eight? Account for these! Ha, ha! I dare you! Don’t waste the time you pass on trains, But concentrate on some wise tenet Of Epictetus; try your brains On mighty thoughts by Arnold Ben- nett. And when you've done your daily stint, Don't loll around and think you're tired, But work at something. Take a hint. Gird up your loins and don’t stay mired! But ninety minutes. thrice a weck, Employed in any mgh endeavor Will help to gain some goal you seck It’s-a Safety with _ Real Razor Blades Standard Set, including Stropping Attachment and 6 Double-edged, Hollow ground blades, $5, Extra Blades, 6 for 00 Cents Send for Booklet today DURHAM DUPLEX RAZOR CO. It Fifth Ave. DURHAM DUPLEX RAZOR CO.,Ltd.,86 Stran And make you more profound than ever. Read something big; or, if at heart You hate the very name of “Let- ters” And scorn Philosophy and Art, Review the lore of money-getters, The Rise and Fall of Real Estate, The craft the bunco-man relies on, At all events don’t vegetate, But hive, expand your close horizon. In short, as Dan C. Beard once said, While chewing on a Wheeling stogy “Just think a bit; ‘twill hurt your head” Who knows? You might become a Yogi! Arthur Guiterman, (ABBOTTS BITTERS Eze The M_ S$ Borden Corpulency “In obedi We never had asalesman sell a jar—ft #2 pats ITSELF, one friend recommending It to snothet No Otis No Grease No Dieting who, Ne Odor No Medicine No Exercise is on FATOFF isa pleasant EXTERNAL restr ‘pew lile and buoyancy of youth to th in the ‘waist line and bump at back of Be: 'D CREDIBLY short time 1? . asl You may treat yourself at home, you d} tn hot bath, ned | ‘Apootatmients made lo exper renment Rerature matled tree ia plain sealed wracoet FA FOR DOUBLE CHIN G chin retest comicbooks.com