Life — December 22, 1910 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1160 Life’s Family Album W. T. Larned Have you ever taken a trip on a Staten Island ferryboat? We did the other day, in search of Mr. Larned. We noted that everything was much improved since Mr. Larned took up his * EINES “Hold on there!” we exclaimed. “This is no Who's Who.” “What would you really know?” “Well, for example, how old are you?” “Haven't the slightest idea. It was all down in a family Bible, but this book was borrowed by some Nez Percé Indians when on a visit to St. Louis and no record remains. “But we can’t go on, Mr. Larned, unless we know. Give us a dim idea.” “Oh, say between thirty and forty.” “What works?” “T wrote The Devil, or adapted it for George Arliss, from the Hungar- ian of Molnar-Konta.” “Oh, so you did! We remember there were two of them running in New York at the same time. “Yes. It isn’t the first two devils have been loose in York.” “And your Literar: started it in Lire in—' 1907.” And your delightful: style?” like to time that New Zoo? You Early Bird: weit, were it 18 NINE O'CLOCK, AND THAT DARNED WORM HASN'T SHOWN UP YET. “Well, you know I read Lire for some years before I began writing for it.” “To be sure.” “What are your principal recrea- tions?” “Horseback riding, cotton specula- tion, and trying to place the proofread- ing in Lirr on a higher plane.” residence there. For example, the LIFE'S INFALLIBLE FORTUNE TELLER mosquitoes were all gone. We dis- covered Mr. Larned sitting on top of ene of the hills, looking down discon- solately on the distant Statue of Lib- erty. “Your proofreader-—” he began. “We know all about that. We have suffered ourselves. Where were you first born?” “In St. Louis; son of Col. Charles Trowbridge Larned, great-grandson of Auguste Chouteau, who, with Lacléde, founded St. Louis. Spent boyhood in Louisville, Detroit, Leavenworth, St. Paul, Washington, Virginia, New York, Georgetown University. Gov- ernment clerk, fence rider for English cattle company, farmer out West, re- porter for St. Louis Post-Dispatch, al- leged dramatic editor for three years, administered last rites to St. Louis Spectator, planned irrigation project, afterward magazine work, Evening Mail staff, member of American Dramatists’ and Composers’ Society; address for bill collectors, Greater New York; for authors and publishers with libel suits, Lirr, and—” Tf you were born on December “WS Your future wife will be a dress- reformer and, while you may approve of itin theory, you will often wonder why she is not like other girls, 22 “GS Your future wile will have a. flirta- tious nature and the green-eyed monster will have a meal- ticketin your house- hold. 23 “GB Your future wife will be of an eco- nomic turn of mind and insist on your wearing home-made shirts of her own architecture and construction. 24 Your future husband #3> will find his prin cipal recreation in playing the trom- bone. You will have no difficulty in se- curing a legal sepa- ration with a hand some allowance. ‘Your future husband £97 will invariably be late for meals and the servant-prob- Jem will compel you to locate your do- mestic hearthstone ina hotel, ‘Your future husband 9 will have passed to- the other shore be- fore your earthly paths havea chance to cross. You will meet him at spiritualisticseance. comicbooks.com