Life — December 15, 1910 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Real Goblins Once there was a little girl Who tried to smuggle things, And when the dock inspectors came She up and hid her rings; And when they asked her what she had She just said, “ Nuthin’, sir!” Although she knew it wasn't true— She had 'em all on her, And when they had her searched, O, my They found ’em in her hair!— And the customs men'll get you Ef you don’t de-clare Then there was a little boy Who bought a lot of clothes, And handkerchiefs and shirts and things, And underwear and hose; And as he landed on the dock He looked just like a saint. When asked if he'd bought things abroad, He said, “No, sur, I ain't!” But when they opened up his trunks The things they found in there !— And the customs men'll get you yh C1SSoRs, ANT, NvLLws Legal Profundity A newly-made magistrate was gravely absorbed in a formidable document. Raising his keen eyes, he said to the man who stood patiently awaiting the award of ju Officer, what is this man charged with?” “Bigotry, your worship. He's got three wives,” replied the officer. The new justice rested his elbows on the desk and placed his finger tips to gether. “Officer,” he said somewhat sternly, “what's the usé of all this edu- cation, all these evening schools, all the technical classes an’ what-not? Please remember, in any future like case, that a man who has married three wives has not committed bigotry but trigonometry: Proceed.”—Lincoln State Journal. Too Frank “We need brains in this business, young man.” “You needn't tell me that, sir, Your business shows it."—Baltimore American “Wuat makes you think she’s uncul tured?” “She thinks Ibsen's plays are stupid.” “Well, a lot of people think so." “Yes; but she says so.” Ef you don't de-clare. —New York Times. A TOOTHSOME AWTICLe —Cleveland Leader. C.. Engiand, Acers, Brentano's, 37 Ave. de l'Onera. Pars, year i aavanc tage to loreign countnes in the Postal s E wes, 16 John St.. Adelphi, Strand, W London; 143 Rue és S2 cents, nt copies, 1 cents. liack numpers, atter tree Gustavo Modena, Milan: Mayence, Germany. rations tn Lire ave coprrighced. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply ‘outhampton Row, London, i". C. notification should be sent by susscrivers of any change of address. ned wuiess accomminied dy stamped and addressed enveiope, Lave fold stertf vesponsthie for the ous or non-return of wnsoitctted Contriontion is for aale by all Newsdealers in Great Liritain. The Intemational News Company, Breams ontained within this box are sweet expressions of good will, those dainty confections of captivating toothsomeness known as Belle Mead Sweets Chocolates and Bon Bons _ They are enclosed in a dignified package befitting their triple service of being charmingly attractive, lovingly sent and cordially received Invariably fresh, and sold only in sealed packages by druggists who select their candy to meet the requirements of a thoughtful patronage. BELLE MEAD SWEETS. Trenton. N. J. Nib NY drab TO ig onrgs Pe Ue a ee Re CES ‘Stasusnco 8 \CLOTHING,? a Gentlemens Parnizhing Gouds. Fur and Fur Lined Coats, Jackets, Rugs, Caps, Boots and Gloves, Trunks, Bags, Traveling Coats and Shawls, Dressing Cases and their separate fittings, Dressing Gowns, Breakfast Jackets, Slippers, Automobile Trunks, Luncheon Baskets, Angora and Shetland Garments, Um- brellas and Walking Sticks, Pipes and Pouches. Many Novelties from the West End London Shops. Send for booklet,“‘Christmas Suggestions.” BROADWAY. Cor. TWENTY-SECOND ST., NEW YORK comicbooks.com