Life, 1910-12-01 · page 89 of 108
Life — December 1, 1910 — page 89: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a serialized story titled "If Thackeray, et al, Came to Park Row"—a satirical piece imagining famous 19th-century literary figures visiting a modern (1920s) newspaper office. The excerpt describes an editor's encounter with a visitor dressed in anachronistic 18th-century attire: knee breeches, silk stockings, silver-buckled pumps, and a frilled shirt. The visitor appears to be presenting an original poem. The editor dismisses him dismissively as another "crank," reflecting the satirical point: even celebrated historical authors would be rejected by modern editors as mere eccentrics. The joke targets both the pretentiousness of historical literary figures and the philistinism of contemporary newspaper editors who reject genuine artistry. The page also features advertisements for the Apollo Player Piano and Royal Albert cigarettes—typical early-20th-century luxury goods marketing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ORIENT- EUROPE ORIENTA to all parts of Karope If Thackeray, ef al, Came to Park Row (Continued from page 1004) toned clerical waistcoat opened only wide enough to display the top of a frilled shirt. The editor gave a start when his eyes wandered down and he observed that his caller was clad in knee breeches, silk stockings and pumps with silver buckles. He glanced quickly up to the face, which was smooth shaven and al- most feminine in its clean-cut lines, sen- sitive mouth, aquiline nose and big, limpid brown eyes. “ Well, what is it? "’ the Sunday editor inquired “I have an original poem, sir, I should like to have you read."" “I hope it is more original that that remark,"’ testily exclaimed the Sunday editor. “ Well, let's see it.” The caller drew icom the cavernous tails of his coat a roll tied with a rib- bon and reverently handed it to him who was judge, jury and executioner of such \ syred children of men’s fancy. That “Another rolled manuscript,"’ thought : Owns the exclusive right of playing downward on the keys. the Sunday editor. “O, well, this seems Owns the METRONOME Motor—as essential as a teacher's to be the day for entertaining cranks.”’ / metronome, Was first to play 88 notes. He unrolled the sheets, rerolled them Aects do Mek cay correctly ta'ail coenpuattions: the other way to make them lie flat and 4 ii f Plays an accompaniment or any composition in any desired k spread them out before him. ee Have you quit puzzling your brain about which is the dest player piano? hy silat odo pou: call THEE" he Have you decided to buy one at random, trusting to fuck to get the best? Wouldn’t you like to settle the question and have the player at home before Christmas? —— + Wouldn’t it help you to know qwhy we are able to guarantee that the Apollo S is the only player piano in the world that actually has the human touch? . . ° . - Wouldn’t it help you to know why we guarantee the Metronome Ci garettes of Distinction Motor to produce correct tempo? f ‘Wouldn't tt help you to know ‘uly we guaraster the Apollo to be Exquisitely Blended and Marked for the only player piano in the world that can accent the melody correctly ra iste bapa ish in all compositions? YourPersonal Use by the Makers of ‘Wouldn’t it help you to settle the player piano question if you °OYAL \ knew why a house of the financial standing of the Melville Clark THE Rey, LBERT Piano Co. could guarantee the above statements in the face of the That Ci | Puri 5 claims made and advertised by certain of our competitors? gent ae carrie (oF Elegant by All Wouldn't we be bankrupt if we couldn't prove things we say? Dealers WhoCaterto the Cultivated. Wouldn’t you like to éxow before you put $500 or $1000 into a It is our tery special business to make < player piano just what you are going to get for that money? Then cigarettes to the order of those who send your name and address and get a complete answer in a hurry. tate true tobscco of Turkish ‘ , ¢ ut as to the port of the plant Melville Clark Piano Co. pore the true _toboecs “Raver 442 Steinway Building ind attains its maximum of delicacy and c A Secetnces —— Chicago, U.S. A. ¢ is $2.00 the hundred for Regular size, and when € $00 or more, we. without extra charge, mark your cigarettes with your initials, your monogram or {st. or any other device. TRIAL BOX OF SO CIGARETTES # MARKED WITH YOUR INITIAL “There, sir, is the title upon the Inst mention this ad. and slip it into an envelope along first sheet, answered the caller. sith a dollar bill and a piece of paper bearing your name | | An Elegy Written in a Country and address. Also state whether you prefer mild, medium - blend. and cork tip or plain. Churchyard,’ read the Sunday editor. Biar wo be: returned 8 nce on sree oy “That's no title, I might as well head ene Just say you are displeased, and back goes a story by our policeman, “A Murder out dollar without any argument. Story Written ‘ E *Raf- 40 bere is the way to learn, without tisk, what_we can Story Written in the Back End of O’Raf £2 i supplying you with Siparettes that will be dlatisct ve: ferty’s Saloon, 'y your very own—and which. free trom all adulterants erhap: i y sad bervy siting, will be as healthful ea they ere detiious, Perhaps the perusal of my lines may zeal suggest some more fitting title, in which case I shall gladly be guided by your judgment," meekly replied the caller. HILANDER FIREFLY, IT'S NO FUN KEEPIN’ COMPANY WITH YOU, UNLESS You ood thingy of Hes THE MANHATTAN CIGARETTE CO., 130-132 Peart St., N. Y. CITY. FIND SOME WAY OF TURNING YOUR LIGHT (Continued on page 1027) powN.”” 1025