Life — December 1, 1910 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“While there iz Life there's Hope.” No. 1466 BER 1, 1910 DECE VOL. LVI. Publi LIFE PUBLISH red by COMPANY id Treat, JA MITCHRLL, Pree, AO MILEIK, See 17 West Thirty-first Street, New Vork. Over the Christmas Wire “JELLO, Central. Give me Forty Jj Below Zero, North 4] Pole. Allright. Is that you, Santa Claus?” “Yes, yes. Who's calling?” “Uncle Sam. I want to give you the list of things you're to bring for my children.” Wait till I get a pencil. “All right. Ready now. Go ahead.” “Put down a hobble skirt for the Goddess of Liberty. She's getting so old-fashioned nobody ever notices her any more.’’ “One hobble skirt. Next.” “You may bring Wall Street a nice new Standard of Business Morals.”’ “Very well.” “For the Party a big bunch of plain Common Sense."* * Right, oh.” “And for the Suffragettes a vld-fashioned Feminine Modesty.”” “Yep.” “For the Trusts you may bring, let me sec—well, never mind. Scratch them off. They've got everything already, Instead of that put down the Common People. Bring them a New Tariff.” “Very good.” “In the stockings of Willie Bryan and Teddy Roosevelt you may put cer- tificates of life membership in the Down and Out Club.”’ Democratic little! CHRISTMAS GREETINGS “And for the soldiers in my army you may bring the Canteen that was taken away from them.’” “ Down."* “To my Congress you may fetch a goodly quantity of Honest Desire to Serve the People.’’ “That's a pretty big order, Samuel.’’ “Pack up for the American Woman a bundle of sensible clothes to take the place of the silly duds she’s wearing now.’ “ Right.” “Put on the list some Celerity for my judges and lawyers.’’ “ Correct.’” “To my people who live on farms and in lonely places, the comforts and con- venience of a Parcels Post system.'’ “ Entered.”” “And for the doctors a large bottle of Anti-Get-Rich-Quick Serum.” “* Serum.’ Go ahead.” “Bring along for the Labor Leaders a generous supply of Respect for the Law.” “All right.” “And to all little children and aged persons Love and Care from the Young and Strong.”” “No mistake about that “To every sweet dispositioned maiden lady a Handsome, Rich and Loving Hus- band.” “ That's easy.” “And to each of the States of the Union and to my Outlying Possessions Peace, Prosperity and Happiness."” “Very well. Is that all?’” “Yes—no, hold on. I almost forgot my favorite son, Lire. Bring him a million new subscribers. “Did you say one million or millions?” “Oh, make it two millions. So long, Santa. Merry Christmas to you.”” “Same to you, Sammy, and many of them.’" two The Christmas Spirit EE the Christmas Spirit! Ab, what a beautiful sight. “ Tell me, O Sage, what is a Christmas Spirit?’ t all depends on the point of view." “That is a trite remark. Can you not be more specific? ’* “T can, A Christmas Spirit, when viewed by the tradesman, is to sell a great quantity of stuff at top-notch prices in order that it will not have to be sacrificed in January.’’ “That is perhaps a bit unkind, but what other point of view do you think of?” “To the children, the Christmas Spirit is the right to have much more than they need and much more than is good for them.’" “That may be true. What else? '’ “To the shopgirl the Christmas Spirit is but little more than a tremendously trying period of overwork."” “Tell me no more. You are too cyni- cal,’” “Not infrequently sound cynical.”’ does the truth icbooks.com