Life — September 15, 1910 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A NEW MENTAL REGIME LIFE’S WOULD-BE MENTAL SUBSCRIBERS ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED PHYSICALLY We have an important announcement to make. This announcement has, of course, already gone out generally through our regular thought bureau (Gee. Ime. Mit, Manager), but we think it best to give it coarse physical expression. And for this reason: A great many of our purely physical materialistic readers are about to lead the mental life, only they don’t know it. We are educating them up to it in this purely somatic page. Others have taken the step, and are now toddling around in the mental world, not quite sure of themselves. For this reason we print this page. It gives only a faint idea of the real world beyond. (If you think, for example, that LIFE’S covers are handsome every week, as you see them somatically, you can have but a faint idea of the imaginary covers that come out on every issue of the mental LIFE. They are cosmic in intensity, and deal in vibrations so uplift- ing as to be beyond the power of mere words to de- scribe.) In other words, we take you step by step from the materialistic conception of things gradually up to the higher mental life, and this page is only one of the mile-stones.. Make an effort, as you read these words, to throw yourself out mentally, and you will get a few faint vibrations, constantly increasing in force as you gather power. (Try this five minutes each day.) But to get back to our announcement—an announce- ment that has stirred the whole imaginary world to its heights and depths. It is simply this: Our waiting list began to grow so rapidly that we are absolutely forced to ask a premium. That is to say, if you are not already enrolled among the fifteen mil- lion mental LIFE subscribers, then you must, if you want to subscribe, have your name placed on the wait- ing list; but in order to have even this done you must now pay five imaginary dollars, the regular subscription being ten. Now we beg that none of our friends will think us mercenary. Those who know us, and understand our real motives, and how we have at heart only the very best grades of high moral uplift for everybody, will un- derstand at once that we would scorn to take advan- tage of any one. No, no! We are not charging this merely nominal premium because at present we need or desire the men- tal capital, but simply for our own protection. To be candid, we don’t want too large a list. We have all the circulation we want, and now it is simply a process of wise selection. The five imaginary dollars that you pay, so that you can be placed on the waiting list and in time become a regular subscriber, are only a guarantee on your part of good faith. We shall, of course, put this mental money into our reserve, and use it when necessary to keep up the standard of the mental LIFE. There may come a thought panic at any moment. We have known such things to happen. When there is great poverty of thought, as, for instance, seems likely to happen during the coming election, we must be pre- pared. It must also be remembered that in paying this pre- mium to be placed on our waiting list the amount will be credited to you on your subscription. It only means that you pay five dollars about a quarter of a century in advance. That is to say, Gee. Ime. Mit., our man- ager, estimates that those who are now being placed on our waiting list will become regular subscribers in about 1936. We don’t guarantee this, we merely offer it as a basis of hopes. You may have to wait longer, as we find that the effect of taking the mental LIFE every week keeps people alive much longer than before and there are consequently fewer vacancies among sub- scribers. Protests are naturally coming in from all over the world, from those who have delayed in getting in their subscription, and are not on the waiting list. In the interests of the great majority we must, however, ad- here to our rule. We have just received the following from a promi- nent advertiser, who thought he could get along without advertising in the imaginary LIFE this year: Gee. Ime. Mit. Dear Sir:— Does your rule about would-be subscribers apply to would-be advertisers also? Please reply physically, as I am sitting in an office surrounded by advertising artists, and find it hard to understand imaginary talk. Yours, B——w In reply we beg to inform our friend that it does. Hereafter every advertiser who has not hitherto been on our list, but thinks he wants to advertise, will have to pay a premium for the thought. Later on, when he comes in, we will credit his account with the advance. Don’t think you'want to come into LIFE, therefore, unless you are prepared to pay the price. We are doing this from purely philanthropic motives. The line must be drawn somewhere. Address, GEE. IME. MIT., . Anywhere. (He will get it.) comicbooks.com