Life — September 15, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a y | | | | i | 1} daa i anki Oyster Bay (With apologies to Rudyard Kipling) BY the Mighty’s old pagoda, sittin’ somewhere near the sea, There's a mighty thinker thinkin’, an’ T know he thinks 0” me; For there’s hot air in the headlines, and some one seems to say: Come you out, you Tittle statesmen: come you out to Oyster Ba: Come you out to Oyster Bay, Where the politicians pray: Can't you ’ear their ’carts a thumpin’ from The Bridge to Oyster Bay? On the road to Oyster Ba; *Untin’ 'armony they sa And the dawn comes up like thunder; such a ¢ at Oyster Bay! N I'm sick 0? nuttin’ doin’ and 0” walkin’ pavin’ stones, An’ the blasted air 0’ Broadway feeds the fever in my bones; hough 1 talks with mollycoddles; though I talks to beat the band ; An’ they talks a lot 0° politics, wot do they understand? in Ananias Band— Wot do they understand? ca keener, cleancr leader in tha old happy tand! On the road to Oyster Bay— r Ship me somewhere east o” Bi where the best is like the worst, Where there's politicians plenty you can raise and quench a thirst ; But the mighty Colonel's callin’, “next “that I would be— - old pagoda, lookin’ lazy Ou the road to Oyster Bay, Whe So ¢ the politicians pray ne tho sce the mighty master Often “ pray the other way’! On the road to Oyster Bay From dawn to dawn 0° day ny His voice comes up like thunder: that 's the Pride of Oyster Be Robert Wallace, OU cannot make a straight st..es- man out of a crooked politic “EPPuE * Life’s Infallible Fortune Teller If you were born on “G8 Your future wile of the WLC. T.UL Ace cording to her, everything you en- joy will be wicked, astic memt 8 Your future wile will be short and stout and wear high heels, but expert the architecture of buckwheat cakes. Sept. 15 Sept. 16 Sept. 17 ‘Your future husband 4 > will bea fashionable portrait painter and your jealousy will drive away many’ of his customers. If you were born ca ‘Your future husband 4 #~ will crochet beauti- fully and you will be the head of the household. Your future husband 4 0 will be an inveterat punster and his quaintances will want him con in an instit the feeble If you were born on “Gin Your future wife will be a prominent clubwoman and you will develop into an excellent house- keeper. didn’t last forever. Sept. 18 If you were born on “WA Your future wile will! k she is a 8 decorator and will carry out her ideas on her own face, You will seldom kiss her, Sept. ‘Your future husband # 4 will be a divorce lawyer with a large practice and you will find him a most entertaining dinner companion, ‘Your future husband & II be fond of play- ing poker wi knowing th you will live If you were born on “G2 Your future wile will have a sunny disposition passion for bi You will become a : bankrupt in the ¥ fifth year of your married life. ad a Your future wife will be fond of cats and in self-defence you will become a manufacturer of violin strings. ? hats, Sept. will be music 20 Sept. 21 If you were born on 4 “GM Your future wife will be won after a 4 long courtship. You v will be sorry ii ‘Your future husband #2 and flirtatious, but kind to your mother, If you were born on Your future busb=d 42> will be fond of rid- ing but not n of a horseman. You should take a course in first aid and trained nursing. ot 427 | | comicbooks co)