Life — August 25, 1910 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EPA * Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau Branches in all Principal Centres, Inciuding Paris and Constantinople. No Con- nection With Any Other Establishment INCE the reorganization of our business, and in spite of the fact that our customers came forward to a man and .ssored us of their support, a great many rival concerns have siaricd up, encouraged doubtless by our seeming weaknesses. The fact is that we were never stronger, and the nuinber of permanent cures we are constantly effecting is positive evi- dence of this, We have not thought it best to make any formal announce ment of our summer plans for the reasons above specified Ir would only call attention to our methods of doing business and enable a lot of “fake '’ concerns to start up like mush rooms, doing, of course, more harm than good. It seems proper, however, to make some sort of announce ment to show that we are, as usual, in the lead. And this ads to-a few reflections. here is no husband in this country, no matter how well ‘ken to the halter he may be, but does not feel the gentle ) of the summer. It is a period of relaxing, and he eds to get the benefit of this: otherwise the winter that saies may be a time of unhealthy and abnormal thought Every wife feels the same in a lesser degree. BEFORE TREATMENT AFTER TREATMENT Personally, we have never approved of the numerous schools for husbands and husbands’ camps scattered by envious h the Adirondacks and other hilly resorts. Our something entirely different. The individuality of husband is carefully preserved. sregating our customers in one place we per- And for this purpose we have en- nto an arrangement with every first-class summer resort s country. Our league extends from Maine to Cali- and as far south as Georgi our regular customers are members. If you have on our Looks for three months and have paid your dues, | receive your traveling badge from the tall handsome © on the left as you enter the office. \ certificate is also necessary, and your photograph must accompany this as a mark of identification. em to roam at will. 1 The cost is merely nominal—twenty-five dollars for the season. Clubs of five taken for one hundred dollars. With the certificate you will receive a book giving a com- plete list of all resorts, together with statistics about number of guests, accommodations, etc. Every customer of ours, immediately upon arriving at one of our resorts, should present his certificate to the hotel pro- prictor or representative. He will be immediately introduced to all the beautiful girls staying at the hotel and his past his- tory kept inviolate. Our customers, it should be understood, must not abuse their privileges. The whole idea of our summer schedule is to provide them with a means of pleasant relaxation, away from the cares of home, without complications. Harmless flirtations must be the order of the day and evening. Noth- ing more than this will be countenanced. In case any of our customers should happen by accident to run across their wives, we have issued a system of insur- ance which provides them with the fastest transportation away from the zone of least interest. We may say that we tried this plan last summer on a small scale and it worked so admirably that we are now adopting it generally. Here is a sample letter received from an old customer: Dear Sirs - ; Never have I enjoyed myself so much in any summer as I have this year, thanks to your help. Usually I spend my vacation in town with a few congenial spirits, while my dear wife is away storing up energy for the coming campaign Rut this summer, armed with your certificate and full credentials, I made a round ‘of all the re Sorts, and can truly say that I had the time of my life. The great beauty of your system is that it is based on a great principle, and that is that during the summer, when people are off enjoying them: selves and everything is relaxed, an entirely different standard of conduct prevails. For example,’ although a married man in good standing at home, I had no trouble at all this summer in becoming engaged to any number of lovely girls, breaking off the engagements when desirable. Thus I have had a wide experi ¢ in the manage- ment of the female heart. All this, of course, gives me an added power, later on to know how to deal with my dear wife, whom 1 am already looking forward to with considerable interest. Thus, you see, your wonderful plan is already making for the higher morality, I predict that as your customers increase in the land our divorce statistics will steadily decline. Gratefully yours, This is extremely gratifying. It shows that our broad policy is thoroughly understood by the right people. In the meantime, we desire to state that certificate priv- ileges will be granted only to our regular customers who have been married at least five years. We feel that while to these husbands the opportunity offered only increases their characters, in the case of younger husbands many of them might not be able to withstand all the numerous temptations. By the way, in calling at the office for your certificate, please be sure to give the aforementioned tall blonde in charge full particulars of places you propose to visit. She has been personally over the ground herself and can give you valuable information about location of dark places on piazza, secluded walks and hours when lights are turned off, etc., which will save much time and possibly enable you to make a better route If you are a husband and in any kind of trouble call, write or wire. Open day and night Huspanps’ Corrrsronpence Burrav. comicbooks.com