Life — August 4, 1910 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE: No Rise of Price in Mental Ads. THE REGULAR RATE OF ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS A LINE STILL ON, ALL RUMORS TO THE CONTRARY Unfortunately, the tremendous extent of the new movement recently instituted by LIFE is but imper- fectly understood by those who are incapable of reap- ing the benefit of all the imaginary influences at work. At present we have one of the largest thought bureaus in the country, vibrating night and day trying to fill orders. In addition to this we have the largest mental ad- vertising department in the world. It is presided over by one of the ablest mental advertising generals on this continent. His name is Gee Ime Mit. Mental advertisers will please take notice. If you wish to advertise in LIFE, concentrate on Gee Ime Mit, care of LIFE’S Thought Bureau. Orders wil! be taken care of in the regular vibratory sequence in which they are received. if you so desire, and will it, Gee Ime Mit will get into mental communi- cation with you for a few moments. But pleese re- member that there is absolutely no use for any mental advertiser to influence him with regar! to preferred space. All our mental advertisements which appear in im- aginary numbers are placed without regard to any favoritism. One price for all, without regard to age, race or previous condition of mental servitude. And this brings us to the rumor, recently persist- ently circulated by envious rivals, that we were going to raise our mental advertising rates to One Hundred and Fifty imaginary dollars a line. There is not a word of truth in this. Our circula- tion of ten million mental subscribers, of course, de- mands a much higher rate than at present, but there is something in this world besides money. Moreover, as we have before remarked, we are only about one hun- dred years ahead of our time. Nay, in fifty years from now there will not be a physical materialistic advertisement in sight. As you loll down the Hudson in your aeroplane you will be vibrated on from every side by thought ads. We know what we are talking about. Besides, Gee Ime Mit says he knows it will be so, and he has never made a mis- take. All advertisers who wish full pages in our imaginary specials should concentrate on Gee Ime Mit at once. The Christmas Number is almost closing. In a few more weeks you will be vibrating in vain for space in this grand number. Remember that our advertising rates are only ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS A LINE, and no mental discounts to any one. Besides, we can- not guarantee insertion in advance. You will have to take your chances, Last week over eight thousand mental advertisers, who came in too late, were con- centrating on Gee Ime Mit at once, without effect. There is a limit to all things, even to one of the most systematically run thought bureaus in the world. Now, in regard to the revolution which we are creating in the advertisement world, please bear in mind that we receive only the purest mental advertise- ments, The time has gone by when any old advertiser with a new nostrum to exploit can expect to let every- body know about it. Gee Ime Mit stands back of all our mental advertisers. Last week an imaginary whiskey dealer sent us an imaginary whiskey advertisement, and we tried a sam- ps of his wares and found them impure. Of course, we ad to reject his ad. All imaginary whiskeys are sam- pled first before being advertised in LIFE. Every mental jag is guaranteed under our Pure Mind Rule. We don’t rely on governments or laws. We don’t have to. We make our own imaginary laws. We charge an absurdly low price for our advertise- ments, and we guarantee imaginary results. If you don’t believe it, concentrate and give us a trial. The following letter has been received. It came by suggestion, but we translate it for the benefit of our materialistic readers who are not yet in the higher sphere. Dear Gee Ime Mit: find it very dimcult to expreas myself coherently. Lam 80 fullof joy over my recen As you know, I have one of the fin in the world." W ing to be a mental advertiser. The rate of one hun- dred dollars a line seemed rather high, even for LIFE, but no first business man ever considers a high rate if he can get results. So I began wanting to take Vnumber. I just willed it, jee Ime Mit, put me down for ind, By Jove, what happened? Why I sold in my mind a million of my razors in the next twenty-four hours, Harmoniously yours, P.S.—By the way, I enclose copy for ten pages to go in the every day numbers. and I also enclosea plain every day N.Y. draft to pay for them. I don believeinit, of course but until ihe public gets educat- ed up to the mental attitude, may be we would better work the thing from both ends. That’s the proper spirit. In the meantime, we cannot take on any more new mental advertising just at present. Ten million mental subscribers say they are too busy now getting through the mental ads we are running. Address all communications to Gee Ime Mit, LIFE’S Thought Bureau. Jan the bs of Di yates ing sc to bea old m Jobns once was fc Prol ited at Ley that f. up the ten lish ki dikes comicbooks.com