Life — July 28, 1910 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

mes The’ Last Ditch BY MRS, WILSON woopKow . “one of our most prominent lady as she had been recently called by a “soldier of the common good,’’ more skillful with the muck- rake than the pen, was at once the envy and admiration of her sisterettes. Young, beautiful, with a gift for oratory and organization, it was felt that there was no office in the man- less government of the future to which she might not aspire. But although youthful, Maud Minerva was’ far from inexpe- rienced. Sbe had taken her degree at college, given a season or two to society, although society as a pursuit is becoming dreadfully archaic, had headed an expedition to the South Pole, and was known as a: daring aviatorette. However, these tame, domestic pleasures had been for- gotten, left behind her as the toys of childhood, when the clarion call of “Votes for Women!" had first rung in her cars and the thrilling excitements, the dizzy notoriety of mili- tant suffragetteism dawned upon her. She had then, when our deaina opened, run the gamut of militancy, from serving a term ia prison to horse-whipping an obstinate legislator and stinging a leader of the opposition with a little acid. And then, at the very height of her career, while the future opened yet more dazzlingly before her, the demon, Man, crossed her path. Instead of at once recogniz ing him as a thing unclean, and purging her imagination of all thoughts of him, Maud Minerva had cnough of the old Eve in her to take a more than passing observation of for- bidden fruit. It was not difficult for her to persuade he self that her sole interest in him lay in a desire to win a new adherent to the Cause. The first downward step. Then one conversation led to another, until gradually her duties were neglected for long talks and walks with him, sometimes beneath the pernicious and persistently sentimental moon. All at once the joyous, athletic activities of her life began to pall upon her. What meant this craving for his presence, these haunting thoughts of him by day, these dreams of him by night? Maud Minerva felt herself unable to cope with the situation, and in great mental perturbation turned to a leader of the Cause for advice and assistance. “Thave a dreadful weight upon my conscience,"” she said “Poor little girl,’’ commented the older woman with an indulgent smile, “you have probably winged a leader of the opposition, blinded a senator, or mortally wounded a police- man, and your morbid little conscience is worrying you. Give no more thought to such pecadillos, child. They are all in the day’s work. “It is not such trifles as those.” said Maud Minerva, with a negligent gesture. She had lifted her head heroically. “I am in love.’” “What! In love? You, whom I thought immune, have not escaped the influence of the demon, Man!"’ The clderly leader's voice fell from one tone to lower tone with a jolt and thumped on the floor. “No, no,’ drawing her skirts aside as Maud Minerva fell on her knecs before her, “do not touch me. Be gone. I could forgive anything but that When you have repented—perhaps—"" But Maud Minerva was not repentant. On the contrary, her obsession increased. She had been able so far to turn an apparently deaf ear to the pleadings of the demon; but she realized that her resolution was rapidly giving away. In despair she sought a great alienist. “Is there no way to cure me?" she asked piteously. “My intellect informs me that he is commonplace, insignifi- cant, plain in appearance; yet in my eyes he is more beautiful and god-like than the Apollo Belvedere. My mind tells me that he is rather heavy and stupid, but my heart insists that Plato, Socrates, Epictetes and all the rest of them never spoke such wit and wisdom as he voices.” The alienist pondered. “For such a well-defined case of infatuation as yours,” he said, “there is but one cure, and that is to marry him." Without further harrowing of the reader's feelings let it be stated that that was the end of one of the most promising suffragette Perhaps the full extent of the tragedy may be reatized when these words of Maud Minerva’s, overheard on her wedding journey, are set down: “1 shall always obey everything you say, ducky. And you will let me sew on your buttons and darn your socks, won't you, dear? And may I try to cook in our dear, little home? And you will forget and forgive my dreadful past, won't you, darling? "* areers in the country. Weighed In ICKING up a sharp knife from the meat stand the cus- tomer extends it to the butcher with the remark: I haven't any use for it, but you may cut it off, and I'll take it along, anyhow “Cut what off?" gasps the astonished butcher. “Your hand. You weighed it with the roast, you know, and I want all T pay for.”” THE Great IF IN Lire comicbooks.com