Life — July 14, 1910 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Important Notice to Everybody PLEASE STOP SENDING IN ANY MORE MENTAL SUBSCRIPTIONS TO LIFE A humiliating thing has happened. We have overtrained. We acknowledge our error with due apologies to all concerned, and trust that everybody will forgive us; in the meantime, we beg and pray that all will heed our request. At present our thought bureau is in the last stages of despair. We make this appeal in the interests of common justice. Do this much for us, and we will present our deepest thanks to all concerned. This, by the way, applies to our mental advertisers as well. We were obliged recently to increase our mental advertising rates to One Hundred Dollars a line, but this seemed to make no difference. The value of the medium was recognized, and our advertisers flooded us with orders. To all our friends, therefore, we say, Please desist. We cannot take on any more mental subscribers at present, nor any more mental advertisers. We are sorry—more sorry than we can say—but there is a limit even to our own vibratory power. The facts are as follows: Several weeks ago we began taking on mental sub- scribers with the idea of getting ten million before Sep- ber first. We fixed upon ten million as a proper number, although it seemed so high that we little dreamed of the possibility of reaching it. But the fact that it didn’t cost any plain every day money in these piping days of high living seemed to appeal to everybody at once. The idea of becoming mental subscribers to LIFE, and thus circumventing all of the mental ills that flesh is heir to, was a great lure. Mental subscribers began to pour in by the thou- sands. Not a minute went by that the ether surround- ing our thought bureau wasn't crowded with long lines of subscription vibrations, waiting to be entered and classified. We issued a call for help. Almost any mental tele- graphist, even if he only half knew his business, was grabbed up and made to do duty taking mental sub- scriptions. We took on everybody with any preten- sions to vibratory power. We even engaged a lot of Christian Scientists, until, when Saturday night came around, we found there had been a slight error. We found that they expected to be paid in actual coin of the realm, in spite of the fact that we had reiterated time end again that this department has no connection with any other But it made no difference. The stream of mental subscribers continued to pour in. The five million mark was reached in three weeks. From then on it was easy mental money Now that LIFE has ten million mental subscribers on ite list, and practically every mental advertiser in the country (which makes about ten million more), we are simply obliged to stop 1, tecelere: vou And yourself beginning to think too much of LIFE in these days, don't let it carry you too far. Borrow a mental copy from a friend. Do any- thing rather than Obey that Tapulse. Subscribe physi- cally if you wish, by sending in plain balan day money. We will turn it over to the proper party. But don’t, we beg, send any more vibrations to our thought bureau. We have ordered all our thought staff away for a rest. Every person in this Bureau is now either at the sea- shore or the mountains in his, or her, mind. We wouldn’t call them back for anything. They need the recuperation. And now to our ten million mental subscribers we shall add a brief word. We do this physically in order that the few people who have not yet reached the high- est mental plane will understand the message. Carry a mental copy of LIFE around with you wherever you go. It vibrates harmony. The following communication has just been re- ceived, among many others: Dear Life: Over three weeks ago I subscribed mentally to LIFE, and inasmuch as there has been no acknowledgment, and the papier has not appeared anywhere on my mind, I write to ask you what isthe matter? Itis possible that I did not do the thing right, or that my subscription may have been lost among so many vibra- tions. Will you lock it up and let me know ? a———_— n—_———_— We find on referring to our imaginary lists, which are kept on file, that our friend’s application was the very next one after the ten millionth subscriber. In other words, if he had been the fraction of a second earlier he would have gotten in. As the case stands, he missed it by the millionth part of a vibration. Alas! Such is fate. We should like to include him in our lists, even at the risk of overstepping the mark, but this we cannot do. We have agreed not to take on any more than ten million subscribers, and we shall stick to our word. So our friend still remains in the outside darkness. This leads us, in conclusion, to offer a moral reflec- tion. What fatal chance was it, we wonder, that made him delay his mental application? Was his mind dwelling on the tariff or on Theodore Roosevelt? Just a thought lay between him and lasting cheerfulness and joy, and he delayed seizing the opportunity. Thus we see that the responsibility of our thoughts is enormous. He loved his LIFE not wisely, but too slow, Some day—when our rental thoughtists get back from their vacation, and we catch up a little—we may yield to preseure, and take on four or five millions more of new mental subscribers, It is just as well, there- fore, right now to reflect that if this does happen you must think quick. Don't let your mind go wool gath- ering over the high cost of living, Obey that Impulse and concentrate on our regular thought subscription form In the meantime, we congratulate our ten million mental subscribers on their good luck, and wish them many happy special mental numbers of the day