Life — May 19, 1910 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Popedeetr THE ENTERTAINMENT COMMITTEE Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau s everywhere, including Paris, Constantinople and Philadelphia. No connection with any other establishment HINGS are gradually righting themselves in this office and we continue to be on friendly terms with the police. Money has been coming in and we begin to feel that the great work we are doing is really appreciated by the country at large. At the same time our expenses are extremely heavy and rapidly increasing, owing to demands for shorter hours made by our vaudeville performers and other artists connected with our entertainment committee. For this reason’ we are re- luctantly obliged to announce an increase in our rates, to take effect on the first of the month. We do this, however, with the conviction that everybody will understand, as the neces- sities of life are going up all over the country. Our old cus- tomers, however, will still be protected at the old rates. Are you a subscriber to our burcau? If not and you hap- pen to be a married man it will pay you to look over our pros- pectus. We are pretty well known by this time, but it is a fact that husbands who have hitherto led a happy married life and suddenly are awakened from their dream by a rude shock are not likely to be aware of our existence. Troubles in your married life are like rheumatism or tic douloureau. Before you get them you never hear about them; but when you sre a victim you find that every one else has the same thing. If this notice, therefore, comes to the attention of some hitherto blissful married man, who is just beginning to get uneasy and doesn’t know what is the matter with him, let him drop us a line at once. We can cure him if he consults us in time. But even in advanced cases, where we cannot affect a complete cure, we can alleviate your sufferings, The following letter is a fair sample of hundreds we are constantly receiving : Deor Sir: Words are inadequate to thank you for what you have done for me. When I first applied to you, and after I had sent a photograph of my wife, and you told me that my case was hopeless, P fete there as no more use. That you have helped to mitigate my sufferings is, however, a wonderful thing. My principal trouble at present is that I cannot get away from home. My wife watches me with eagle eye. If you could suggest’ some way in which I could pay you a visit, even for a day, and place myself under the auspices of your entestainment committee, I should bless you forever. Please mail a copy of your “Galaxy of Beauties to the inclosed address, that of a neighbor. Te has promised to turn it over to me, ours hastily, ee Recently we inaugurated a three weeks’ course, entirely free, in hopes that we might interest a number of husbands. We have, however, decided to abandon it for the following reasons: Many husbands who took this course were impatient of re- sults. They expected that their wives would all stop buying bargains, stay in nights, let them stay at home from church and permit them to do as they pleased—all in three weeks’ time The expense of looking up an individual case is very great. We never undertake a case unless our sympathies go out to our customer. Now we can't undertake to do this in three weeks and then have the current broken off. For these reasons we urge all of our patrons to place themselves absolutely under our charge for at least a year. We may get results immediately, but it makes us too nervous to feel that we have no claim on a customer after three weeks. We feel, also, that our reputation is now sufficiently established to insist upon an advance payment in every case. We invite the closest scrutiny. Our testimony book is open to all. In the meantime we beg leave to announce that the full programme of our entertainment committee for spring and summer is ready and will be mailed on receipt of twenty- five cents. It includes among other things A system of playing the races that cannot be beaten. Complete guide to poker playing. Freedom of the City of New York during the months of June and July (by special arrangement with the Mayor). Full particulars about the great husbands’ conference to be held at Narragansett Pier. Special trip to Paris, and information about all important art centres in that city. We also beg to announce that we have secured Mr. An- thony Comstock as our special monologist, who will hereafter guide partics on our Sceing-the-Tenderloin Auto. Mr. Com- stock is eminently qualified for his task. We have received the following : Dear Sir. My wife reads aloud from the Ladics’ Home Journal, Is there any hope? Grosce B— We beg to inform our correspondent that we do not take Ladies’ Home Journal cases. We have to draw the line somewhere. Dear Sir: My wife and I have been fighting so long now, and we have become so used to it, that I don’t believe any other life would suit us. I don’t know why I am writing you this. I saw your announce- ment, and it struck me as funny. And so this is just a_passing salute from an old stager. be — This pathetic letter brought tears to our eyes. Alas! there are so many of them. Nevertheless, if we can get our friend on here for a couple of weeks we hope that something may be done for him. While there is married life there is always hope. Call, write or wire. Huspanps’ Corresponvence Burea‘ -com