Life — March 31, 1910 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau Branches in all Principal Centres, Including Paris and Constantinople. No Con- nection With Any Other Establishment trust that we may be pardoned for referring again to our recent troubles, but our work is done directly with thousands of suffering husbands all over the country, and anything which af- fects us and renders us unfit for our ve best must necessarily affect them. While we should wish to mention this with all humility we realize that we are bound up with the country’s welfare. As a matter of fact, since the trivial incident with the police, recently referred to, the chairman of our entertainment committee has been released from jail and things look bright again, At the same time we still have much to contend with in the way of misrepresentation Yesterday, for example, we were vis- ited by a delegation from the Woman's Temperance Union. These misguided la- dies came to protest against our scheme of entertainment for husbands under our care and requested us to abolish our entertainment committee altogether. They totally misconceive, of course, the object of ths bureau. There are some people so morally blind to results that they fail to perceive anything in its broadest aspects We firmly bri respectfully declined to modify our programme for the spring and summer, which includes some of the most interesting features we have hith- erto given our patrons, and in reply to the criticisms that were visited upon us we pointed to our record and to the thousands of hearts we have brought to- gether. Our answer was not received with the favorable result hoped for. Whatever else the ladies of the woman's temper- ance movement may be, they are not strong on sentiment or the finer aspects of love. They fail to understand that a little dissipation, a little entertainment of the right sort, if applied in the right manner, may be all that is needed to bring a wife to her senses. The strength of this bureau lics in the way this is done. Only the other day—to quote an in- stance—one of our regular customers was surprised by his wife while dining in a restaurant with a trusted member of our entertainment committee. Our customer, who had not bargained for this sur- prise, was naturally disconcerted, and so, we may add, was the member of our entertainment committee, who had only been in our employ a few days, but had shown signs of great promise. (We m add that she is still with us.) The lady afterward called on us at our office, and while it is usually against our rules to receive visitors we did so in this case. In a few moments we had con- vinced her that her husband really loved her, but his sorrow over their incompati- bility had been so great that he bad thrown himself on our resources and was only trying to drown his sorrows and forget himself in the best way he could. We then suggested to her that she spruce up a bit and try a little active competi- tion. The result was all that could be expected. She invested imme liately several pounds of imported hair. got a picture hat, and her husband was only 565 too glad to make a new arrangement, with his wife taking the principal part Thus we brought about a happy reunion in the only way possible. The ladies of the Woman’s Temper- ance Union, of course, are blind to this sort of thing. They don’t realize that a husband's character is in reality strengthened by a course of treatment under our entertainment committee. We have saved thousands of husbands at this .critical juncture by our system- atic process of entertainment. We never, for example, allow any husband on our books to drink cocktails before breakfast. We give him just as much enjoyment as he can stand without go- ing crazy about it, and our experience has taught us just the right moment to bring him back to his wife with an en- larged vision, a real working knowledge of the world, an awakened sympathy and a strong craving for home cooking. All the time we are treating her by methods which are secret but none the less effect- ive. The result is two happy hearts SURPRISED BY HIS WIFE’? united on a practical basis. Both have suffered and know what love means. We firmly believe that the ladies of the Woman's Temperance Union are far more dissipated than any of our regular trade under the auspices of our enter- tainment committee. They gradually ac- quire a craving for strongminded argu- ments against drink until they can't get along without them. They indulge at first in mild potations of talk, gradually increasing the dose until nothing will satisfy them but a total abstinence ti- rade on every occasion. They imbibe their temperance lectures daily as an old toper takes his bottle. The only thing that they never get is what is technically known as a “still,”’ but every other form comicbooks.com ~