Life, 1909-12-16 · page 20 of 32
Life — December 16, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical poem mocks the wealthy leisure class of 1910, depicting an absurdly futuristic family scattered across the globe pursuing frivolous pursuits. The joke hinges on extravagant technology enabling excessive consumption and idle pleasure-seeking. Key figures include: Father conducting international banking via airship; Mother shopping in Paris wirelessly from home; Brother tending underwater coral farms by submarine; Uncle traveling via pneumatic tubes to Japan; Sister, a suffragette, paradoxically spending leisure time at the North Pole after her reform work. The satire targets: conspicuous wealth and disconnection from reality, the obsession with technological novelty, gender role contradictions (the "modern woman" activist who still prioritizes leisure), and the isolation of the ultra-rich from ordinary life. The accompanying illustration of dogs in formal dress reinforces the theme of absurdity and pretension. The title "Aut Scissors, Aut Nullus" (Either Scissors or Nothing) remains unclear in context but likely references Life's satirical cutting commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Father's in his airship Gone to spend the day, Looking after loans and bonds In Europe, o'er the way. Mother, who likes comfort, And does not care to roam, Is shopping via wireless, In Paris, at her home Brother, who in deep seas Has a cora grove, Is going in his submarine Among his crops to rove. Uncle, in the na Who's left his ship a span, Is shooting through pneumatic tubes To join her in Japan Sistgr, who's a suffragette, Has worked reforms so rare That even the ward meetings They open now with prayer; And when, tired by their labors, She'd body rest and soul, She goes to spend for pleasure A week-end at the pole —Detroit Free Press. Beitish Possess: A PAIR OF FIRE DOGS Some Christmas Thoughts A fat Christmas means a lean New Better a candied apple on a stick than a jeweler’s bill on the way. Be tactful in filling another's stock- ing lest you put your foot in it Forgive your enemy to-day, even if you have to start a new quarrel to-mor- row Let your gifts go into the hands of a receiver, but don’t get into his clutches yourself. A ton of coal in the cellar is worth two baby grand pianos in the creditors’ schedule Let the baby beat the drum and V lie toot the horn. That is their idea of peace on earth —Success. A cotorep man died without medical attendance, and the coroner went to in- vestigate “Did Samuel Williams live here? "he asked the weeping woman who opened the door. “ Yassuh,”’ she replied between sobs “T want to see the remains.” she answered England, Acexts. Rrentano’s, 37 Ave. de l'Opera, Paris; w Coventry Street, Leicester W. Lon Mayence, Germany 1» 14 Southampton R London, iW’. € is pa Prompt notification should be sen scr ibers of any chance of address, BREWSTER & CO. Broadway and A] 4th. Street, New York DelaunayBelleville ahsacied bodies ffor any Chassis. epairs to body or motor Peerless Cars comicbooks.com