Life, 1909-12-09 · page 24 of 32
Life — December 9, 1909 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements** interspersed with humorous short stories, typical of Life magazine's format. The main content advertises **Egyptian Deities cigarettes**, emphasizing their superior quality from Turkish tobacco and handcrafted blending—a sales pitch common in early 1900s advertising before health warnings existed. The cartoons/stories are brief satirical anecdotes: 1. **"The Clock Stuttered Too"**: A husband who stutters comes home late; his wife complains about a stuttering clock. The joke plays on the homophone/rhythm of his stutter matching the clock's chimes. 2. **"The Pale Poet and the President"**: A pale poet meets President Roosevelt (likely Theodore Roosevelt, given the era). When TR dismisses the poetry as "anaemic," the friend reinterprets it as "academic" to save face—satirizing both pretentious poetry and diplomatic smoothing-over. 3. **"The Syndicate Heroes"**: References Horatius from Roman legend, joking that modern writers would demand royalty shares for heroic stories—commentary on commercialism. These are lightweight humor pieces typical of the era's magazine entertainment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Poultively nothing better than pure Tork aby Hadata> r a Cc Natural flavor only. Not doctored. Each leaf chosen ter its exquisite aroma. “Workmanship perfect. To coaviaes you, we will send by mail 100 for $1.50. You're pay. —= ing no middleman's profit, Made-to-order and sol dinect Gey them; If not as good as the best, your money back ler tox TB. WILDMAN & CO., New Haven, Conn, Were you willing to pay $1.00 each, no skill on earth could make better cigarettes. For these are made from the cream of Turkish tobaccos — the selected six per cent. The Clock Stuttered Too sons . A droll sort of a fellow, given to stut- And these tobaccos are blended, through infinite skill, to tering, met an old college chum ont secure an ambrosial aroma street. They had some hours together . . . * and other things. As the tardy one stealthily ascended the stairs on reach. ing home, out of the darkness came his The words were scarcely uttered when the old-fashioned clock on the landing a “f save four laborious strokes. “The Most Exquisite Cigarettes’’ “Do you hear that?" she asked sharply = Ba d-d-dear,"’ he rejoined pleas antly, you mustn't mind that k-k-clock It’s 11-11 like me."'—Success. All of the best cigarettes—and some of | again and again, and all but a few are dis- the worst—are made of Turkish tobacco. | carded. Some Turkish tobacco costs 4 cents per A man rarely picks out two pounds of Karena 3 Hie Roraemae: recor a ie pound, and some costs $2.50, plus the leaves in a day, fit for Egyptian Deities. | South. THe Manon, the English-like Inn of Ashe duty. Then we blend the leaves from sixty Tv est i y | bales—from a dozen localities—from two : The very finest is grown on narrow i from a a pilvealios i The Pale Poet and the President collars of land, fertilized by mountain or three crops. It is thus that we get this A pale poet who wrote pale poctry was washings. exquisite, unyarying blend. taken to the White House one day and . . ‘ “ . 3 = presented to President Roosevelt by a We get the pick of the choicest leaves It is folly for one, without these facili- friend. The friend and the Prestdcat by sending men on horseback into every | ties, to claim to make such cigarettes. had occasion to go down sta followed ik . by the pale poet, who lagged a few steps locality. And the Sultan himself has never pee es , TI se ves are picked over, | smoked a cigarette any better. “TI don’t like that man’s poetry,’ said hen these leaves are pi > gi y the President. “It is anamic.”” ° . When the President left the poet 10 for 25 cents. Cork Tips or Plain turned to his friend and said: “Did I understand the President to refer to my Every box of “EGYPTIAN DEITIES" bears the fac-simile signature of S. ANARGYROS poctry as anaemic?" factory and Depot: New York City Seman “Anamic?’ said the friend. “Ob, no!" And then, working his wits over- time, he added: “ You misunderstood He said it was academic.''—Ladies’ Co To7 aie BRAINS Home Journal. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER -MADE, AT KEY WEST “Its purity has made it f The Syndicate Heroes “Let one man stand at my right hand,” Horatius quoth, quoth he. “Let one | @ abide at my left side and keep the bridge with me. Three men, I wot, can make it hot for caitiff foes like these; and when we write about the fight, we'll share the royalties."’"—Louisville Courier-Journal. ‘The World’s Best Table Water’’ WORLD TOURS November’ Tour to Spala, Sit, Now ready, 1000 edition of the famous “Richard's Poor Almanack,” the hit of 1908, Beautifully bound Tiesive Towrete ie canoer tly, Frasce and dilustrated humorous book. Sent for 1oc, Address White Rock, Flatiron Bidg., New York City. DE POTTER TOURS (iz) Xwrdia comicbooks.com