Life, 1909-12-02 · page 38 of 80
Life — December 2, 1909 — page 38: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Poetical Economy"** (left column): A humorous poem by Harry Graham mocking modern writers' verbosity. The author satirizes literary giants like Upton Sinclair and Edith Wharton, suggesting they could improve their work by abbreviating words—cutting syllables, shortening play running times, even trimming Shakespeare's "Hamlet." The joke is that the poem itself practices this absurd economy, omitting letters throughout ("abb:" for "abbreviate," "schol:" for "scholar"). It's a meta-joke ridiculing both bloated writing and the poet's own clumsy solution. **"What They Needed"** (top right): A domestic humor cartoon where Mrs. Shiftless wonders what Santa will bring her children. Her friend Mrs. Cutting suggests he'll bring "darning cotton and needles"—implying the Shiftless household is so neglectful that mending supplies would be more useful than toys. It comments on poor housekeeping. **"Below Par"** and **"The Theatre Train"** cartoon: Brief social commentary pieces on conventionality and leisure activities. The page exemplifies Life's satirical approach to contemporary culture and social behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
798 Poetical Economy HAT hours I spent of precious time, What pints of ink I used to waste, Attemp to secure a th To suit the public taste, Until I found a simple plan Which makes the lamest lyric scan! When I've a syllable de trop, I cut it off without apol : This verbal sacrifice, I know, May irritate the schol : But all must praise my dev'lish cunn: Who realize that time is mon: My sense remains as clear as crysts, y duch : My style as pure as a Who does not boast a bar sinist: Upon her fam: escuteh: And I can treat with scornful pit: The sneers of ev'ry captions cri Jadly publish to the pop: A scheme of which I m ke no myst:, And beg my fellow scribes to cop This labor-savit I offer it to the consid Of ev'ry thoughtful individ The author, working like a beav:, His readers’ pleasure could redoub:, RPE Did he but now and then abbrev: The works he gives his pu Did Upton Sinc: or Edith Whart: Curtail their output by a quart: If Mr. And Caine rewrote “The Scape: "", Miss Corell: condensed “ Bar- abb:"", What could they save in foolscap pape: Did they but cultivate the hab: Which teaches people to suppress All syllables that are unnec:! If playwrights would but thus dimin: The length of time each drama takes (" The Second Mrs. Tanq:"" Or even “Ham: " by Sh We could maintain a wakeful att: When at a mat: on Wed: or Sat: Foll: my examp: O Maurice Hewl When next you cater for the mill :; Yo, too, immortal Mr. Dool: And Ella Wheeler Wil And share with me the grave respons Of writ g this amazing nons:! Harry Graham. What They Needed RS. SHIFTL There! I've hung up the children’s stockings. I wonder what Santa Claus will bring? Mrs. Cet 1, if he's at all ob- serving he'll bring some darning cotton and needles! THY EASIEST WAY TO GIVE A CHILD A PILL IS TO TELL HER NOT TO TOUCH 17 AND TURN YOUR RACK. Below Par ROTESTANT CLERGYMAN (to beggar): Reilly? You say your me is Reilly? You must be an Irish an? Brocar: Well, yes; but I ain't been livin’ up to it lately “DO you have social relations with their family?” “No; purely business—we exchange Xmas presents.”’ NLY those women within the con- fines of conventionality have free- dom peas ith “py THE THEATRE TRAIN IS THE GAME WORTH THE CANDLE? comicbooks.com