Life, 1909-11-04 · page 20 of 52
Life — November 4, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from Life magazine attacking American political corruption and hypocrisy. **"The Shot That Failed"** is an acrostic poem (by Ellis O. Jones) that uses alliterative lines to mock corrupt politicians and officials. Each line begins with successive letters, attacking "Senators seeking salvages," "Tricky traitors," and "Aldriches" (likely referring to a specific political figure), among others—portraying them as self-serving, dishonest, and plundering the treasury. **"Giving Thanks"** is a satirical essay attacking the impossibility of sincere thanksgiving. It argues we cannot thank politicians, doctors, or lawyers for genuine help, nor friends and neighbors (they're too self-interested). The only remaining option—thanking ourselves—is absurd and hypocritical, given that success often comes from cheating neighbors, defrauding widows, bribing city councils, and other corrupt schemes. The essay sarcastically suggests replacing Thanksgiving with "blamegiving," where everyone admits their guilt. The accompanying illustration depicts an angel emerging from behind a wall labeled "Government of Spain," with a figure fleeing below—likely referencing Spanish political corruption or a failed Spanish government initiative.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE SHOT An Acrostic y Senators seeking sundry salvages. Tricky traitors trying terrible turpitudes Adroit Aldriches allaying all anxiety Thirsty Tories tapping the treasury Empty editors enunciating eni Sordid sluggards schemin Mere 1 Astute alles asseveratin atical effusions. thy seizures. ntebanks mang hty majorities Nervy nincompoops narrating n Suave solons speaking sorry sophistries Haught. Indecent imps imitating imbecile irrelevancies Ponderous presidents preaching patronizing platitudes lis O. Jones. harpies hamstringing helpless hoi potloi Giving Thanks NE trouble with higher criticism and the theory of evolu tion is that they leave us no proper, extra-personal re annual thanks which custom and the Presi dent's proclamation require us to give. Who is left for us to thank for the good things that have cipient for tho: THAT FAILED happened to us? There are two reasons why we cannot thank our friends, relatives or neighbors—first, because we do not believe they did anything worth while to help us, and, second, because, as a matter of fact, they did not. They were too busy helping themselves We certainly cannot reasonably thank the politicians, the doctors, the lawyers and the editors. there remain only ourselves to thank; but Yes, it_ must So, therefo that seems rather a nonsensical thing to do. he almost embarrassing for a big hulk of a man or woman deliberately to sit down before a big turkey and a bigger mince pie and prepare to gorge himself simply for the purpose of giving thanks to himself because he has cheated his neigh- bor out of several thousand dollars in a real estate deal or wheedled an unsuspecting maiden aunt into buying a large block of worthless mining stock or bribed a city council to present him free of other cost a valuable franchise to prey upon the needs of its constituents. Perhaps some day we shall he compelled to change the ing possibly we might Then we nature of the feast. Instead of thankss overeat ourself for the purpose of “ blamegivin| could slash around in every which direction, letting no guilty the doctor person escape and ending by blaming somebody else: perhaps—but surely not ourselves, because we ate too much. comicbooks.com