Life — September 23, 1909 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

x Os bal cal or we are jauntily skidding down Fifth Avenue. Curiously enough we are approaching my club. I sball pause there for A moment to peruse my bills, circulars and advertisements. 10.10. A fairly stiff rain is falling. It is, indeed, so in- clement without that several wide-awake women have gone so far as to open their umbrellas, I am alone in the club and hopelessly cut off from my office. 10.40. A chap whom I barely know has drifted in and offered me some liquid nourishment! He has the advantage of me, of course, knowing that Iam a gentleman and that my breeding would not permit me to refuse his friendly proffer. He has asked me to lunch with him at a restaurant to-day. I shall not go, but I have, of course, accepted his invitation, as I hate to give offense in these trifling matters. “If it is bad breeding to refuse a drink,’ I always say, “ why is if not worse breeding to refuse a luncheon, a dinner or a week-end visit? tito, [have just been handed a note from an unknown THOSE BARBED-WIRELESS FENCES but highly perfumed lady who, in violet ink, signs herseli— . . “Knotted Handkerchief.’ She implores me not to forget our A Gentleman's Morning rendezvous, and urges me to be there promptly at 5 o'clock. Be where? Who are you? Speak to me, spirit, from the void! 11.20. I am suffering from a severe headache. I must 3a. M. Where am I? Is ita festival? Why, in Heaven's ne, are all these infernal electric lights ablaze? And whose is the soft-footed figure that floats about me opening toy at a physician's, on my way down town, as 1am really and shutting windows, curtains, blinds and bureau drawers? igcmed aboGe Whit df were 1 develen some Abt IT see it all, now. It is Chalkley, my tiresome hideous malady—the sleeping sickness, heri-beri or the foot- servant who is chattering to me, as is his tedious wont, abou: snd mouth disease 11.40. The doctor has reassured me greatly. He says that about old Chalkley it is all due to my eyes. I ought, he declares, to wear glasses. 8.10. It is noised about that my bath is ready and await ing me, but I really cannot think of moving. A. strange darins. lethargy steals o'er me. Can it be due to that ushers’ dinner 11.50. Here we are, in the subway, rolling merrily along that some poor devil gave last night at Delmonico’s? I shall gward my office, butwhat is this? Alas! Tam. but the never ieee tpi j j ; , luckless shuttlecock of Providence. This train, I have S40. am now asleep in my bath and using the sponge only just learned, is a Brooklyn express, and I am even as a bead-rest. At last 1 am alone, except, of course, for now, as I write, in the very heatt of that great city; a stranger, the trained soap! I have placed my lighted cigarette upon with only fifty dollars in my pocket, and no provisions, friends it, and itis bobbing about, in an idle and dégané way, under Oy firearms. What is to be done? T-sce by a chap's news ny chin and nose, I trast that no one will find me in this paper that it is Saturday, In ten minutes my office will be sequestered nook. Peace, perfect peace Lom closed, Ah! How often do couraze, determination and so- 8.50. Bad news! Chalkley has discovered me! There is called business enterprise prove fut sdirected against no deceiving that chap. Why did he come in here, anyway ? © weather, There is something rather obvious and boring He also warns me to be more guarded in the matter of man- z eg i inexorable Destiny There is a little streak of meddling and curiosity in Chalkley’s rros F. wf, I have just been rudely pushed onto this make-up that rather annoys me. For penance I have set him train and am homeward bound at last. I shall go directly to to-work lathering ce with the shaving brush. T have, iy rooms and lie down. All this unwonted activity bas however, absolutely forbidden him to speak to me for two hours, as he never, by any chance, has anything but depress. ing news for me. 9. With the help of my safety ra am myself while reclining supinely in batt all very princely and Oriental, only, to-morrow, I must try to remember to re- move my pajamas before entering the fluid 9.10, Lam breakfast and have already surprised myself by eating two enormous pieces of a mandarin. 9.30. Chalkley has gone through my pockets and brought me a few of last night's trophies 1 memorabilia They include a lady’s handkerchief, knotted firmly at one end, and my own handkerchief similarly knotted. On my cuffs there are traces of various cuneiform inscriptions now almost ob- literated by the ruthless hand of Time. Last night is still a meaningless void to me 9.50. Why, oh why, did I tic a knot in my handkerchief? I must stop fretting about it, however, and start for the sub- way, or I shall be late at the office. to. As it rather threatened rain I thought it only prudent RACING TERM to hire this roomy taxicab. I am smoking a cigarette and “Lert aT Tite Post’ comicbooks.com