Life, 1909-09-16 · page 20 of 32
Life — September 16, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two main satirical pieces: ## "Battle of Bostontown" A poem mocking overwrought military language and academic jargon. The text parodies how battles are described using obtuse mathematical and philosophical terminology—"constructively thundered," solving equations "trigonometrically"—rather than plain language. It's satire of pompous war reporting and intellectualized descriptions of violence. The accompanying cartoon shows chaotic figures in combat, emphasizing the absurdity gap between flowery language and messy reality. ## "M'sieu Bleriot" A poem celebrating aviator Louis Blériot (who famously crossed the English Channel by airplane in 1909). Written in exaggerated French-accented English, it humorously portrays Bleriot as fearless and confident despite bad weather. The poem mocks both French theatrical pride and British anxiety ("Rosbifs") about this aviation achievement. The page also contains period advertisements for toiletries and fasteners—standard magazine filler of the era, not satirical content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Battle of Bostontown Constructively to right of them, Allegorically to left of them, Metaphorically in front of them The imaginary instruments of war construc- tively thundered It was theirs to cogitate upon the reason why, So that might differentiate between those who should constructively die those who, constructively overwhelmed, should fly— Otherwise, some responsible head blundered. And ht have Honor, mathematically, the charge they made, Euclid’s theorems for the part they played, While the differential calculus and lo mines constructively laid Detonated and left the ranks constructively sundered Subtracted from the constructive jaws of death, Letting “x ' equal the theoretical jaws of per- dition, The problem is to solve the equation trigono metrically, And we shall have the remainder of the six hundred constructively —W. D. Nesbit in Chicago Evening Post THE FLIGHT NROTHERS ARE RETURNIN: M’sieu Bleriot Ze wind at Dover blow vair bad, An’ blow more at Calais, But Bleriot, he no get mad An’ sail annoder day; He laugh lak zees—ha, ha, ho, For he ees bold—M'sieu Bleriot He crank ze airsheep up so tight She go lak zees: “ Squeek, squec An’ zen he start her on her flight An’ sail what you call sleeck ; Ze beeg waves jomp down dere below But nevair fears M’sicu Bleriot He sail ze air lak som’ beeg bird. An’ smoke ze cigarette ; 'Fraid-cats ?—he knows no such a worl; He ees brave man, you bet! Ze Rosbifs stand, wiz mouf wide, s To see our M’siew Bleriot. When ozzair lips an’ ozzair hearts Shall praise our Veelbure Reet Our new airsheeps shall play zair pa By sailing, oh, Ze chee! Wiz pride for M’ so fleet le France shall ¢ Repub Why Patrick Henry Said It An Indian boy at Hampton wrote the fol lowing in a composition on Patrick Henry “Patrick Henry was not a very bright boy. He had blue eyes and light hair. He got married and then said, ‘Give me liberty or give m 10 AMERICA ; death! ""—Ladies’ Home Journal. os Item ts. less accompanied by stamped and addressed en Live d itself response for the loss or nom return of unsolicited contributions sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The elope, tional News Company, Breams Every Woman Should Know The Three Indispensable Toilet Articles “Eleto”’ Violet Talcum Creme-‘‘ Eleto”’ “Eleto”’ Toilet Water At 4 And Leading Department Stores ELETO Co., 11 W. 36th Street, New York ngland. AGents. Brentano's, 37 Ave. de l'Opers, Pa w Coventry Street, Leicester Square, W. London: 9, Kee lan; Mayence, Germany re copyrighted.” Extracts from the test may be msed. give ict the illustrations are not to be reproduced without special permission olcateda ery Lane, London, F. ews Exchanges, 7 Mi advance. ‘Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address ~ BEWARE OF IMITATIONS OF THE FASTENERS MEN SWEAR BY, NOT AT. To be sure you are getting the genuine WASHBURNE i: FASTENERS IMP. (THE FASTENER WITH A BULL DOG GRIP) : y Look carefully for name Washburne stamped on every fastener. \t is your protection against a poor infringement, the perpetrators of which spre being prosecuted. The ge Everyt uine Washburne Fasteners i are “Little But Never leis th Let Go.”? There is COM- tas the FORT FOR M. in is in their use. larg They are the greatest little utilities ever invented for men's dress, and are aj plied to 66 7 ke What are No ott Key Chain ond Ring, . 2: Scarf Holder, Bachelor Buttor, . Cuff Holders, . . Drawers Supporters, . 2 Catalogue Free SoldEverywhere. Sent Prepaid Look for the Name Washburne AMERICAN RING COMPANY, Dept. 6, Waterbury, Conn. comicbooks.com