Life — September 9, 1909 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

340 Our Fresh Air Fund Previously acknowledged.......++++$6,059-74 “ Wirthday gift from Polly FH. 1.00 Elsie Hobso pare 5.00 Procesds of 8 3 ‘s by James arris, Jr. z 374 “Grenell Island Sunday ‘School GGL, 25.00 Loving’ Memory of G. M. ‘i 25.00 Charles T. Root. 200222 B.S. Doniphan. 02000 “ILEESE * POSTALS FROM LIFES FARM Dear mama— Iam having a fine time and all the chil dren Andie sleeps with Owen and nora with Katie Rooney and T sleep with a little girl T asked Andie did he want to go home and he said no. Goodby. Your daughter Bella Dear Aunt Jenie We are at life’s farm Branchville Connecticut I will send you and Mr. Seaver a picture postal card tomorrow I drank three bolls of milk Herbert Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau (No connection with any other establishment.) received the following communi- cation some three months ago: Huseaxos’ Coerrsroxorxce Huweav. Dear Sirs: 1 have been ad. vised. by friends to apply to you for relief, but T have no hope that you can do any+ thing for me. My case is in- deed a very peculiar one. To tell you the honest truth, 1 don’t know what the mat- ter is myself, All I know is that I'am unhappy in my married life, without being able to explain the reasons, ‘The facts are, briefly, that my wife never objects to anything I'd. She doesn’t seem to have a particle of jealousy im her make-up. If I suggest that 1 go off and have an evening with the boys she says in her sweetest manner: “ By all means do. It will cheer you up.” If I speak of other ladies whom admire, she agrees with me. In short, she never interferes, and lets me do exactly as I please, and it'is simply im possible to ruffle her—and she is not a Chris: tian Scientist cither. She gets. worried sick over the baby, is apparently fond of me, but doesn't care w he result is so far as I am concerned all pleasure has lost its zest. I actually would almost as soo: stay at ho Tt mak miserable all of the time. Can you help me? . 1— J— This, we may sce, was one of the saddest cases that has ever come to our attention. There must be a Providence watching over us all, however, or how would this gentleman have had the im pulse to place himself in our hands? Apparently there was nothing to be done. But in reality, underneath the placid surface of this matrimonial outfit, the wife was controlling him with a grip of She did it by the most deadly let-him-go-far- meth- “1 wave NO nore. steel. method of all: — the cnough-and-he-will-hang-bimself J. She apparently gave him full swinj and by so doing robbed bim of the pleasure that’ he was justly en- titled to No one but a woman could do a th like this. Any man, for example, under similar circumstances, would simulate a jealousy, even if he didn't feel it, just to give his wife some pleasure. We would do it ourselves. If we didn’t have this vast business on our hands, with its manifold anxieties; and if we were married to a lady who wanted to go off and have a good time, we couldn't bring ourselves to cheer her op while doing it, even if we were so busy that we didn’t care. No! We would at least show some feeling. We would give her the opportunity to enjoy her- self, But naturally everybody cannot be high-minded. By saying this we intend no reflection on the lady in question She is entitled to as much consideration as any one else. And now, with this slight digression, we will get down to business, Im- mediately upon receipt of our friend’s communication, we sent him our appli- cation blank for a three months’ course, with the special contract that we use in extreme cases, agreeing to refund the money in case we couldn't give satisfac- We did this cheerfully, because we knew our power We at once put this gentleman in care of our entertainment committe with full power to act. The m we got h interested, we knew his wife would come around. This is al, or psychical, we don’t re- which, But the idea is very When a woman knows she’s got her husband, then she can afford to play with him as a cat does with a mouse, and let him run off and have a good time; but the moment she finds out he is actually having a good time, then she begins to worry That was what happened in this case We know our business Here’s a letter just received : Dear Old Bureau: How I thark you enough! ‘Three morths ago 1 wouldn't have believed it possible. But I see now that it was because I didn't know how to enjoy myself. Now my wife sits up in fear and embling when I am de- ned at the office, and wor koverme. As having the OF course I don’t carry this thing too far. No gentle- man ever would, I maintain my self-respect, and do all of the essential things. My wife is also getting a fine character out of it. She is gaining in self-control and Christian res: ignation ina way that I wouldn't have be- Heved possible. All due to you. Send me n really psycholo; member simple ~ ie 4 “Or aM navine THe TIME OF MY Lire.” Sfenaet- “Qs THIS CANDY FREsu?”’ “t DUNNO, IT NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ME two copies of your “Galaxy of Beauties” a programme of your autumn festivi tics, It's a great thing for me to know that je’s apparent indifference to my where was due to an overtr sense of security, With much love to your handsome office help, Yours gratefully, uH— J— In the meantime, we call your atten- tion to our ever-increasing facilities Nothing is omitted to make our system: a success and naught set down in malice At some time in your married life you are bound to be up against it. We are father, brother and sister to every hus- band in trouble. We will not only cure ¢ expenses and add to your moral stature, but we will give you your wife, red. the best time you ever had. We feel, however, that we must em- phasize the fact that we are too busy you personally. State your case , and when you are in town, drop into our establishment make your- self at home. Everybody bids you wel- come. Our new office rules, just promul- gated, are as follows: RULES —1 BANDS’ ENCE BUREAU. Mouse conrEsPOND- Patrons will kindly not take up the attention of the young ladies in our office. They are employed to create a pleasant atmosphere ; but business is bus- ines. . comicbooks.com