Life — September 2, 1909 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FIFTH AVE. & 36™ST., NEW YORK CAPITAL & SURPLUS Interest Paid on Daily Balances DIRECTORS JOUN T. DOWD Building Construction, Vice-President. ELBERT H, GARY, BENJAMIN ALTMAN, B, Altman & Co, JOHN JACOB ASTOR EO. F. BAKER, Chairman First National Bank, EN BAKER, Pres't Bank of the Manhattan Co, GEO. B. CASE, White & Case, Attorneys, JOHN CLAFLIN Pres't Mutual Life Ins. Co, PERKI E, C. CONVERSE, GEO. President. J.P. HP. DAVISON, J.P. Morgan & Co,, Bankers OFFICERS X. H. STE Vice-Pres, + PANCOS SEW THOMAS W. L. Vice-Pres't First National Bank. EDGAR L, MARSTO: Blair & Co., Bankers. LIAM H, res't Chemical N PORTER, jat"l Bank. RD PROSSER, Vice-¥ HOWARD BOOCOCK, As’ $1,400,000 SEWARD PROSSER, DANIEL G, REID, Rock Island System, DOUGLAS ROBINSO: Real Estate, ARCHIBALD D. RUSSELL, ALEXANDER H. STEV. President. '. THOMPSON, Pres't Bankers’ Trust Co. RLES L, TIFFANY, Pres't Tiffany & ALBERT H. Vice-Pres't Chase 3 Corporatio Jr., Vice-Pres, Trust OMcer. THOMAS COCHRA JAS. R. TROWBRID: Classified _Sretta: Of what classes does mankind con- Betta: The superman, middleman and only man.—Judge. That Got Him A theatrical manager delighted in taking a rise out of conceited or vain members of his com- pany “T see you are getting on fairly well,” marked. “Fairly? I am getting on very well,’ replied the hero of the play, proudly. “I played Hamlet for the first time last night. You can see by the papers’ glowing criticisms how well I got on.”’ “T have not read them,” replied the other quietly, “but I was there.” “Oh, you were. Well, you noticed how swim- mingly everything went off? Of course, I made a bungle of one part by falling into Ophelia’s grave, but I think the audience appreciated even | that." “T know they did,” slight smile: “but they were frightfully sorry when you climbed out of it again! ’'—Pittsburg Press. A Useful Garment Crotirer: Were you pleased with the over- coat which I sold you? Customer: it. “Well, think of that!’” “T do. Every time after a rain the next smaller one has to take it.’’-—Answers. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER “Its purity has made it famous" che re- | said the manager with a | Oh, yes; all my boys have worn | A Love-sMitreN youth, who was studying the approved methods of proposal, asked one of his bachelor friends if he thought that a young man should propose to a girl on his knees. “If he doesn’t,”’ replied the friend, should get off.""—Everybody’s Magazin the girl Overworked Snake The new. and very stringent prohibicory wl which goes into effect in Kansas has revived a old story on the subject. A stranger went joy a Kansas drug store and asked for some whisky “TL can’t sell you any whiskey,” said the dry ist. “But I'm sick,’ persisted the stranger “That won't help any,” replied the drugs “It don’t make any difference. I can’t sell ya any whiskey for being sick.’” “ Well, what can you sell it to me for? the stranger. only thing we can sell whiskey for in tis said the druggist, “is for snake bites Hold up now! Don’t ask me where to get biten No use. There is only one snake in town, asd he is engaged for three weeks ahead.’"—Konssz City Journal. asked Asuryitus, N. Cir Phe four-season resort of te h. THe Maxon, the English-like Inn of Asherite| A Fearsome Threat From the classroom occupied by the rougtes: hoys in the Sunday school came a great upr The secretary in the next room went in to iv vestigate. Complete silence followed the oper ing of the classroom door. “Have you got a teacher? "” “Do you want one?” “No. “Then be quiet or you'll get one.’ Result, comparative peace —Manchester Guerk ian, “In a Pinch use ALLENS FOOT-EASE™ Hard to Tell A noted horseman tells the story of a mar entered a horse in a certain race and mad bet on it. When the horses got away the man sto with the field-glasses glued to his eyes, wate ing the progress of his favorite. Some of the men who knew of the bet crowd! around and asked how the horse was going “Well,’” was the reply, “IT can't just make whether he is the last in the third race or th first in the fourth.""—Lippincott’s. IN THE ENJOYMENT of all the season's sports—Bat and Ball, Boat and Oar, Sprinting and Track-racing, The Chase, The Race Course, Riding, Swimming, Bathing, HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE contributes Delight, Cheer, Comfort and Strength. The best stimulant for emer- gencies and the most perfect and purest whiskey for health and recuperation. Sold at atl firstctass cates and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. sor SALMORE comicbooks.com