Life — August 26, 1909 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

274 The Outlook for Contributors The cleverest and most original thought of the week may be expressed in one hne.— Li I {° weary Ink-Slingers! at hand, s news that you'll all say is fir A respite’s atter how tender your theme, or ow grand, all be expressed in one line! A fourtecn-line sonnet no more need we pen, Or ballade of measure desi We'll never write epics or lyrics again, It can all be expressed in one line! No matter what theme: Suffrage, Na- ture or Home Or Music or Women or Wine; An ode to May's muff, or to Catharine's comb— It can all be expressed in one line! Then whether we're gay as the bird in the tree, Or whether in dolor we pine; How widespread or boundless our feel- It can all be expressed in one line! ! meet Does this friend? I confess that it doesn’t meet mine! What sort of a check would the editor send, If this all were expressed in one line? Carolyn Wells. How Kansas Has Get Rich A TOPEKA dispatch says that after the corn crop in Kansas is har- Yet, stay proval, 1 your ap- vested this year there will be more dol- lars to the pocket in the State of Kansas ate in the Union. It says, moreover, that only three States York, Pennsylvania and Massa- chusetts—now outrank Kansas in total assessed valuation of property, and that Massachusetts is the only State in whic ore wealth to each inhabitant than in any other ‘ —New there is n than the nsans have. We confess that we did not know that Kansas cut up so well. That she is a richer State than Illinois, Ohio, or Cal Michi- Texas— fornia—let alone Iowa, Indian. gan, Minnesota, Missouri and really comes to our comprehension with something like a jolt. We had been used to think of Kansas as being virtu- ous and abstinent, and happy chiefly in that; and now, behold, she has been get- ting absurdly rich, and has money to throw around—$163,000,000 in the banks, the paper says, and $35,000,000 at work outside of the banks! Well, well; what does Kansas do with so ge leg much dross, raised—the bulk of it—out of the ground by agriculture! We wonder: there are so many things it isn’t lawful to buy or do in that abounding State! We observe that the number of Kansans to the square mile is only about 20, as inst 350 in Massachusetts, 150 in New Yerk and 140 in Pennsylvania, That im- plies remoteness of playmates, and every Kansas family must need an automobile, and doubtless has one. Aeroplanes ought to find a good market there, unless the Legislature prohibits flying, as maybe it conflict popular sentiment against high times. It is a duty to point out to Kansas that though she is as rich per square man as Mass. will, being in with chusetts, Massachusetts is about eighteen times as rich per square mile, and Mas- sachusetts is not a Prohibition State either, The Lengthened Life HAT is the large intestine, anyw 2 Is it so lo- How much to get it out? We have learned to recognize the appendix from seeing it in bottles on our friends’ man- telpicces, but the large intestine is less Dr. Distaso, of Paris, says that it is the fatal part of us, where the germs breed that produce old age, and thi once rid of it we ought to live a lon long time. Prof. Metchnikoff originated this prejudice against the large but he was more moderate in his re Have we all got one cated as to come out readily? does it cost familiar. testing, edies and merely prescribed sour milk: As between Dr, Distaso’s method of iddy's, Mrs 0 have more of the qualities of Folks are slow to living long and Mrs. ddy's seems a popular favorit learn to like the fecling of knives in their bowels, or even the idea of it. But the papers said the other day that Mrs. Eddy was cighty-cight and doing fine. The most practical way to induce long life hereabouts is to revise the tariff downward and keep at it, discipline the automobiles, teach everybody to swim, abolish railroad accidents, the Fourth of July, the Italian knife habit, the negro razor habit nd war, and encourage thrift. Reduce the cost of living, abate overfeeding and excess in drink, mi hs, and enough people will live as long as they should without much surgery ai out expending more of the mize accidents and violent di ergy in mere living than it is worth. The spread of knowledge and of civ- ilization will lengthen life far more than the discovery of specific remedies for old N casually looking over the book ad- vertisements in a current magazine we select the following: “A tale of mellow charn “Mr. —'s humor . . is the kind that grips.”” “We have story.” The subject is an epic one.’ “A book to he cherished as something fairly reveled in this wonderful.” “A charm that takes hold of the read- er’s interest.” “Tt is the story of a naked soul.” “This sprightly novel.” “A vivid picture.” nd all this, not Z about one, but about ten different books! Who dares say that our literature is dying out! Se LS “ SKILLED LaBoR ’? comicbooks.com