Life, 1909-08-26 · page 16 of 28
Life — August 26, 1909 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks turn-of-the-century attitudes toward marriage and male infidelity. The "Husbands' Correspondence Bureau" is a fictional service offering married men various entertainments and companion services—a thinly veiled escort operation. The automobile illustration shows husbands enjoying an outing labeled "the club of the jolly bachelors," suggesting married men seek to recapture bachelor freedom. The letters parody actual customer requests: one asks for a "pre-nuptial branch" to control fiancées before marriage; another—a 70-year-old widower—seeks a young bride under twenty, revealing predatory age-gap expectations of the era. The bureau's satirical response advertises publications like "Enjoying Paris without Your Wife" and "Easy Lessons in Buttoning Up the Back," mocking how husbands treat marriage as a trap to escape rather than a partnership. The joke exposes the hypocrisy and misogyny embedded in contemporary marriage culture, where men openly sought ways to evade spousal company and companionship.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
This up-todate motor car le EEE CLUB OF tye JOLLY HUSBANDS: It CORRESPONDENCE BUREAU 5 cur office every hour during clear weather. Ouly regular customers taken. Bacnerons ville; but we have an idea that she may suit our friend, as she is a grand looker, and under nine- teen. We want it understood, however, that we are aoing this merely for the sake of ola umes and not because we shall depart in any way from the strict line of our business. In the meantime we should like to attention to the line of literature we are issuing from this office in cormection with our regular business. We will send a complete catalogue on request. Some of the titles are: “How a Husband Should Act with a Trained Nurse in the House.’* “One Hundred Different. Ways of Enjoying Paris without Your Wife. What to Do After Three A.M.” Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau « Baey ‘Lessons to Buitoalng Up ik W have received the following communications: Dear Sirs As one of your grateful clients (I now have my wife completely under my control) I write to ack why you do not establish, in con nection with vour admirable organization, a department called the Pre-Nuptial Branch? [am satisfied that the subjection which the majority of husbands are under is due almost entirely to the prom: ises they are generally el to make before marriage. Now, if you could extend your treatment to cover the engagement period wouldn't you sive a lot of trouble afterward? Please send me your laxy of eauties,” and oblige, Yours, ‘ete, Ce R=: Dear Bureau 1 am a widower, having lest my third wife, and write to ask if you know of some young and handsome woman, under twenty, wants a good home and a husband, brimming, over with tion and love? I am seventy years old, in the prime of life, J have had ¢ to know just how to, treat a young I don't know whether this is in your line but if Is a good idea to start a branch, in connection. with, your regular business, in which ideal marriages, such as T have in mind for myself, may be consummated? If you can treat well-established married women, and bring them in line, why can't you persuade young and beautiful girls that they can find their soul mates in men of experience like myself, instead of throw: ing themselves away on incompetent college men? Let me know In the meantime, mail me at once your ‘Galaxy of Beauties.” ours, etc, G— D- In reply to these communications we would first say that we regret that the “Galaxy of Beauties’ is temporarily out of print. The demand has been so great that we are obliged to ask many of our disappointed customers to have a little patience. Now, with regard to the suggestions made by our corre- spondents, we say emphatically, No! We think we know our business No side lines for us! Even if we had the additional capi- tal to invest in such an enterprise, the pre-nuptial idea doesn't strike us for a cent. The engagement period is one of de lightful illusion. It's a happy dream. Not for us to wake the sleepers before the appointed time. E man knows what Our genius lies entirely in the province of mar ried life. We will treat your wife for every malady known, from Christian Science to Curtain Lectures, and, through our able Entertainment Committee, we will guarantee to make you happy while the process is going on. Some day we may start a matrimonial exchange, but we doubt it. We are al- he can do. ways, however, glad to oblige an old customer whenever we can, free of charge, and we have mailed to our second patron a photograph of one of the young ladies employed in this office. We've got to get rid of her on account of her spelling and typewriting, and she hasn't voice enough to go into our vaude- Back.” “The Treatment of Relativ “Our Galaxy of Beauties “The Sincere Lie. “What a Husband Should Know, but Ignore.”* “The Morning Kiss—One Hundred Varicties, (Temporarily out of print.) ich Con- vincing. “Bargain Day Antidotes.” When any of our customers are in town we should be only too glad to have them drop in on us. We keep open house. Our reading room is always open, and our auto, “ Secing New York," runs every hour of the day and night. We miss noth ing that’s worth secing But while our customers, prospective or regular, are always welcome, we wish it distinctly understood that we treat only by correspondence. Any husband who pays our regular fee (which varies ac cording to symptoms) can enjoy the benefits of this Burea: no matter where he is, and while we are locating him where he belongs we shall be only too glad to place him in charge of our Entertainment Committee. But we do not treat cases personally “A NEW ARRIVAL, YOUR MAJESTY, WHO SAYS ME WAS A BUILDING CONTRACTOR ON EARTH.’? “WA! HA! PUT HIM IN ONE OF THE CELLS MARKED ‘avso- LUTELY FIREPROOF,’ AND LET IT BURN SLOWLY.’? comicbooks.com