Life, 1909-08-12 · page 7 of 28
Life — August 12, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains three distinct pieces of satire: 1. **"No Casualties"** — A brief joke about a young lady airshipping with her "swain" (romantic partner). Parents ask if there was an accident; she replies nothing happened except the propeller broke and they dropped into Harold's. The humor rests on casual dismissal of mechanical failure. 2. **"The Mystery of Education"** — An essay criticizing education's unclear methods and outcomes, questioning whether kindergartens keep children foolish or if college actually educates anyone. 3. **"Import a Parasite to Bite Alcohol"** — Proposes replacing bars with sidewalk tables serving *eau sucré* (sweetened water). The piece satirizes Prohibition-era reform efforts by suggesting absurd substitutes for alcohol. References "Tammany" (New York political machine) politicians as examples of those who might resist. The illustrations are generic satirical drawings rather than specific caricatures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Farmer Applej by Gincer! k (the morning after): “Nor aNoTHER Import a Parasite to Bite Alcohol HY not use the liquor pest! parasite method to kill the Introduce eau sucré? In so far as our people could be taught to drink sw ned water at small tables on the sidewalk instead of hoisting in alcoholic fluids at bars, the safety and happiness of our commu- nities would probably be promoted. To be sure, cau sucré needs a concomitant. There should go with it rumination, cogitation, conversation, and these imply intelligence, and tranquillity. The social glass is a very great institution. What is in it does not so very much matter so be that it sat- isfies the mind. A lump of sugar and a spoon will do if only the mind accepts them. Could politics be talked in the City of New York on can sucré? Yes, by the ablest working politicians. The head men of Tammany, for example, are very abstemious. They can talk politics without any alcohol. Whether their talkees could be anchored to glasses of cau sucré while they were being talked sure 207 rder question, but our large cities offer a good field for experiment It would be worth while sending a commission to France to learn the best methods of introducing sugar and water as carth for parasites to Why not catch Use scientific methods! a popular beverage. We search the infect the boll weevil and the gypsy moth pnal habits? Our way is to use legislation, and that, alas! as a rule, is far from scientific. one to improve our na No Casualties “YY THAT delayed you?” asks the parents of the young lady who ha out airshipping with her swain, “ Did you have an “Nothing of peller broke and we dropped in on some fri The Mystery of Education HE new religion, says Dr. Eliot, will have no room for * she explains, “ The ds of Har import mystery Then it will beat education, which continues to be full of mystery. How the average college boy gets educated is now one of the greatest of popular mysteries and one of the most dis- cussed. Whether education is the product of college cur- riculum or butts in in spite of it, is matter of perennial dis- pute. So as to whether kindergartens make children wise or keep them foolish; whether girls are made or marre Present processes of their higher education; whether, the old prescribed, compulsory, classical education does not beat the new It is con assorted, voluntary education. that some persons are educated, but it is abundantly terious how they came so. comicbooks.com