Life — August 12, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PIENISESES: EOF IH RSSsaan! etree Make Hay While the Sun Shines Maud Muller, in her brief hey Raked in the meadow, so they And pretty Nan at break of dawn, Gets up to mow her father’s lawn, And oh, that mower’s creak and squeak! Oblivion in vain I seek! Though little birds to catch the worms Must carly rise, the sage affirms; And though Maud’s face, so sweet and warm, Quite took the Judge's heart by storm, Still, neighbor Nane: Please don’t disturb ‘my just next door, morning snore. Dream your sweet drea let me dream m Then, when the day grows fair and fine, I'll tell you I'll mow—and more what I'll gladly do: make love to you! Lippincott’s. A Candid Judge A Dover lawyer tells a story in which the Hon. H. L. Dawes, who, it scems, in his younger days was an indifferent speaker. Short- ly after his admission to the bar he had a case which was tried before a North Adams justice of the peace, and Dawes was opposed by a lawyer whose eloquence attracted a large crowd. ‘The justice was perspiring in the crowded room and evidently fast losing his temper. Finally he drew off his coat and, in the midst of the elo- quent address, burst out: “Mr. Attorney, supposing seat and let Mr. Dawes speak. out this crowd.”"—Lippincott figures that you take a 1 want to thin It was a frightful moment when I re ceived your letter telling me of the insuperable obstacle to our marriage. I would have shot myself, but I had no moncy to buy a revolver. Dearest, if only you had let me know.— Simplicissimus. —— “AND THEY ALL ANIMaLs 1"? CALL ME THE UGLIEST OF Small Hope “Did she refuse him?” “ Practically; she said she would not ms him till he arrived at years of discretio Brooklyn Life. Concentration Frrexp: But your house has no view. Prorrtetor: That doesn't matter; all guests play bridge—Week End. the “Aut I did,’ said the big grain speculator, “was to take advantage of an opportunity.” Well,’ answered Farmer Corntossel, “ that's all Captain Kidd used to do.""—Washington Star, English Coffee The American opinion of coffee as understood in the English home is not high, and how the coffee of the English lodgings is esteemed may be understood from the following traveler's tale. It was his first morning in London “ apart- ments,” and his landlady came up with the break- fast, and as he began the meal opened a slight conversation. “Tt looks like rain,’’ she said. “It does,” replied the American, “but it smell rather like coffee."—London Chronicle. Her Indorsement “I want to get this check cashed,” said th young matron, appearing at the window of the paying teller. Yes, madam. You must indorse it, though,” explained the teller. “Why, my husband sent away on business,” she said. “Yes, madam. Just indorse it; sign it on th back so we will know, and your husband will know we paid it to you.” he went to the desk against the wall and in a few ented the ,check, havin; written on i “Your loving wife, Edith.” —Beliman. He is it to me. Puzzle for the Policeman An amusing adventure happened on one oc- sion to Dr. Clifford when he was conducting a series of services in Birmingham. Arrivin a few minutes before the commencement, the doctor was refused admission by the policeman at the door. “T want to go in,” said Dr. Clifford. Are you a seatholder?” asked the official. ‘0, Lam no “Then you can't go in.” “I think,” remarked the famous passive re- “that there will be room for me in the pulp “Tam not so sure of it,” retorted the other. “But Iam Dr. Clifford; and I am due to preach in another minute and a half. “Oh, are you aid the incredulous police- man, “I have let in two Dr. Clifford’s already —The Woman's Life. Partners in Crime The hard looking customer had been arrested for stealing an umbrella, “What have you to say for yourself?” asked the police justice. “Are you guilty or not guilty?” “I'm one o’ the guilty ones, y’r honor, I reckon,” answered the prisoner. “The umbrella had the name of J. Thompson on the handle, G. H. Brickley stamped on the inside o’ the cover, an’ I stole it from a man named Quim- '"—Chicago Tribune. Itaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal gle current copies, 10 cents, Back numbers, after three Lire is published every Thursday, si Beitish Possessions, $5.00 a year in advance. Union, $1.08 a year? to Canada, S2 cents. S Months from date of publication, 25 cents, No contribution will be returned uness accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. sible for the Loss or nom return of unsolicited contributions. Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Breams does not hold itvelf rey ‘Live is for sale by all Build also at Starbach’s The textand Live advance. Sterling Tires If Sterling Tires are not better than any others, we have no excuse for business life. It isn't a question of profit with us— itean't be. We must make the best tires, irrespective of cost. “Just as good” won't save us—we must lead or quit. Each Sterling tire 1s tho best we can make—we never sell a second.” Sterling Blue Tubes Tough tubes for service, Made especially to withstand the heat and strain of fast travel. Nothing 1a tubes to approach them, ‘+ Ask us why they're blue.” Tell us what tires you use and where you buy them, we'll tell you bow to geta Sterling Blue Tube—FREE- RUTHERFORD RUBBER CO., Rutherford, N. J. Position Unrivalled in LONDON, ‘THE LANGHAM HOTEL Portland Place and Regent St., W. FAMILY HOTEL of the HIGHEST ORDER In Fashionable aod Healthy Locality, Reduced Inclusive Terms during August and September. ENGLISH TOURS By AUTOMOBILE PRIVATE CARS. GO WHERE YOU PLEASE. ‘Mustrated booklet free by post. MOTOR TOURING COMPANY, 43 Pembroke Place, - Liverpool! England §, Chancery Lane, London, News Exchanges, 1, New Coventry St, Georges, Paris: 1, Via Firenze, Millan: Mayence, Germany. ustrations tn LAVe Live due credit; but the tilustrations are not to be reproduced without ipecial permission obtained th Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any chi G., England, Acents. Brentano's, 37 Ave, de Opera Paris ect, Leicester Square, W, London; 9, Rue re copyrichted. Extracts from the text may be used, giving race of address. “Oh Be Joly" A genuloe Lager pertectly brewed and properly aged. To brew & beter beer is tmpouible. You'll fad it will agree “with you hen other beers induce biliousness. Try P. B. Lager once abd you'll latmays try to get it afterwards. At leading Hotels, Restaurants and Cafes, comicbooks.com