Life — August 12, 1909 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- HE proper programme for WZ all Americans who visit the Peo, Z/ seashore is this: First, stuff your- ’ JEL self with as much unusual food as XA you can hold. Second, exercise in NQF alt of the unusual ways that you can think of. Third, drink all of the unusual drinks you can discover. Fourth, stay in the water as long as pos- sible, and when you are tired sit in a gale of wind and cool off. After you have faithfully followed these rules and at the end of the week are laid up in bed with a botel physician on your hands and forty-seven varieties of cold and stomach trouble, it is then in order for you to curse the place and wonder why you ever thought of going there. cia PEAKING of summer hotel physi- cians, did you ever fall into the ) clutches of this voracious being? He i calls on you twice or three times a day. He prescribes drugs that have been lying in the local drug store from time imme- always selecting—to help the druggist out—those that have been there the longest. He tells you storics / about imaginary patients that he has cured in the past. He assures you that you are sick unto death. And when, after you have pulled through in spite of him, he presents his bill, you finally come to understand how he manages to live through the winter. morial, you are going on a vacation beware of going where there are people you know. In particu- lar, avoid being thrown with the quiet business man whom you have + f known for years as an orderly iJ and decent person in his own home. The probability is that he will pester your life out wanting you to “do things.” He will get up ex- : cursions to distant places. He will ar- range for card parties where your pres- ence is absolutely necessary to “ make up a fourth.” He will insist upon your tak- ing long walks to “ build yourself up for the coming strain." He will thrust be- fore you exciting detective stories, anc bother the life out of you until you have read them. In short, he will hang upon you like an old man of the sea with the pertinacity and ingenuity of the devil himself. Before engaging your rours, therefore, always take pains to ascertain there isn't going to be any one there from your own town. A Wexdsf CCORDING to the Rev. Dr. George Clarke Houghton, “ American men and women to-day hire their wives and husbands as they hire their carriages and their houses. Therefore, if they are not suited they proceed to hire dif- ferent ones—it’s very simple. Hire, tire and fire! That 1s the motto of the mod- ern home.” In an age given to an extravagance of statement—if it will only produce the desired effect—possibly Dr. Houghton can be excused for this blast. Being a clergyman also he is entitled to more latitude than an ordinary person. Cler- gymen have whac may be called a the- ological license not to tell the truth. We know that the facts are not as Dr. Houghton represents them to be, in spite of a surface semblance of truth which gives him cnough of a peg to hang his utterance upon. If all American homes were run on this basis, we wouldn't see so many married people going about with youngsters trailing on behind them, ap- parently accepting their hard lots wi composure ond philosophy. The truth is that no law, or set of laws would make the slightest difference on earth, if people who are marrying continually should make up their minds to change {. Out of the great majority of mar- ried people there is a small proportion who are dissatisfied with each other, who have waked up and discovered they have made a mistake. The utmost facili should be given them to start afresh, Their mistakes should not be hung around their necks the rest of their lives. May be this small proportion is increas- ing. This wouldn't be a matter of sur- prise. But it is going to take a good deal more than their example to frighten off the majority who haven't made mis- takes, but who, all things considered, are fairly well satisfied. 211 ROFESSOR HUGO MUNSTERBERG, in recently criticising the Emmanuel ment, stated that what was needed in the study of this and movements psychology. At present Professor Munsterberg is the official supplicr of psychology to the American people. He turns out a book on the subject every other week, and not only tells us what a great man he is himself, but insists thr psychology has done it. As for our humble selves, we don’t take so much stock in psychol- ogy as doubtless we ought, considering that Professor Munsterberg advocates it It seems to us that if psychology was the great science that it 18 cracked up to be, it would have done something to justify itself—improve our educationai system, for example. At last accounts move- similar was more our educational system was a hittle worse than it ever has been before; and yet psychology has been on deck for some time, ordering everybody about. EUROPEAN phys- ician says that all children, before the age of two, should have the vermiform appendix re- moved, in much the same manner that, in many quarters, they now have to be vaccinated publicly A uniform tariff might be made, the charges to be paid by the government, and the revenue gathered from a special tax, But here is the great trouble—how would some of our leading surgeons be supported if the means of charging trom $2,500 to $10,000 an operation was taken away from them? May we not pause on the threshold of ths innova- tion and ask ourselves, as a free and untrammelled people, whether we have the right to take the bread out of the mouths of our leading surgeons? HE yoke of the tip has now extend- cd to the patrons of shoe. cleaning establishments. It is now the usual thing to s in New York shoz cleaning places hand the bootblack five cents extra, in addition to the regular fee of ten cents. Years ago the regular price for a shine was five cents. With the advent of the yellow shoe and the various polishers, the price has doubled. Now the tip has become the custom, so that the average man cheerfully pays © men comicbooks.com