Life — August 5, 1909 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I Wonder When the plays were sound And the plots were good, And the chorus gowned As a chorus should, We all would roughhouse the whole show through, Avd the ushers did business by two and two, en the plays were sound 1 the plots were good. Now the play's risqué And the plots are worse, While the lines they say And the clothes are terse: ow we loll through the whole show— « badder or better, I'd like to know, Now the play's risqué \nd the plots are worse? —Harvard Lampoon. Too Many Feet to the Inch? ue Eptrox or Lire: ir—Lire has been given me as a as present ever since I was born and I ‘0 be able to look forward to Tuesdays for some time yet. This is my first complaint. To come to the point briefly, Iam tired of centipeds. Docs Lire not realize that the number of okes that can be made on a centiped’s legs vary irectly as the number of things that we can do waar eet and handa? Ae these Whigs are urn Depressing Nerve Exhaustion unlimited in number, so the series of pictures ° ° that Lire has been indulging in is unlimited. Into Active, Healthy Vim Now the credit due the creator of the jokes varies inversely as the number of terms there Are you easily excited—high strung? Do morbid, unpleasant thoughts bother are in the series, and therefore with every pic- you—are they sapping your mind of the force and vim so essential to life’s re it decreases and some day will be equal to success? The trouble is—your NERVES. Your vital forces are being wasted. re This marvelous telephone system of your body has gotten beyond control. We have had jokes on the creature's stock- Precautionary steps must be taken at once or you will be rendered unfit for the ings, on his shoes, on his foot-prints (several serious duties of life. At this dangerous period you will find times), on his roller skates, on the number of all Sats he can hold and at least a half | jf s n more. It's child's play now. Off-hand I | \ ight add: suppose you buy rings for him, let him hick his prospective son-in-law down’ the cps, set him up as a copying clerk, can you The Best Tonic k in some things about “ foot-prints in the of Ue let him hug a girl-bug, som: because it combines the quieting and tonic effects of the choicest « about “all hands went down,”” ete, In m HOPS with the nutritive and digestive elements of rich barley MALT. a centiped is most handy subject to the 7 i onist © . thi The HOPS have a soothing effect upon the nerves, inducing mental os and he will, oot fat toe hing. Ie eace and refreshing rest. The pure extract of barley MALT is rich Pe ie a ha veitite tn thekeen tore fn nourishment. Being in predigested form, it is easily assimi- ‘ ae 1 air anat the ae bal es lated and the impaired nerve forces are quickly strengthened. lent: bi “eevies Ie a0) tog ine Physicians of repute everywhere are constantly vouching for the Paty 5 bat ee the nae tole prosehing | merits of Pabst Extract, The "Best" Tonic, by recommending ': n while the val ue of the joke is approaching - to strengthen the weak and build up the overworked; to relieve zero. Just approaching as yet insomnia and conquer dyspepsia; to help the anaemic and aid Yours ‘very sincerely, R the nervous; to assist nursing mothers and invigorate old age. Cutartes Eutince Frencu, Order a Dozen from Your Local Druggist Today—Insist Upon It Being Pabst University or Vinctsia, June 30, 1909. _ci ite eater ah et en cane bon Lot why tire of the centiped, O Correspon- eae RACT CO. DEPT I MILWAUK! dent? We have used the biped untold millions ST EXTRACT CO. AUKEE, WIS. of times and, in one respect at least, he is but one-fiftieth as interesting. A Wise Lady To tHe Eprtor or Lire: BD Z Dear Sir:—A bri woman of my acquaint- Shake Into Your Shoes 2 f e ance once said to me that her idea of we: Kade Vootes, a sowdse for 0 was to be able to buy a copy of Lire whenever feet. It relieves’ painful, swollen, smarting, F = s anted it. reryous feet, and Instantly takes" the sting - 5 Now don't get stuck up and pat yourself on est comfort, discovery of the age. | the back too much, Yours, etc., Allen's Foot-Ease makes tight-Stting, or _ =X R. F. Wertarec, rew shoes feel easy. ‘Tt rain relief for | SN + ingrowing nails, perspiring, callous and. b — Qe Tue Denver Crun, July 8, 1909. tired, aching feet We have over estifnonials. . Do pet socopt A Chastened Rebuke Any substitute. Sent by mail for 25 cents — SNe To tue Epttor or Lire: in stamps. e Turatiwaonton nce Lovacy AnGEeaces Your issue for July is before me, and on page TEae Be onic GuRrUeEstwiti usneinayt! 11 I notice a satirical illustration on Christian iE OLerED GRR Cae Nar eN Satara ricci FEA CHER: Science that plainly shows ignorance of the sub WHO HAS SAT ON SOMETHING BENT, (Continued on page 196) comicbooks.com