Life, 1909-08-05 · page 34 of 44
Life — August 5, 1909 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and business content** rather than political satire. The dominant feature is the Astor Trust Company banking advertisement listing prominent New York financiers and industrialists as directors—names like Benjamin Altman, John Jacob Astor, and J.P. Morgan representatives. The small humorous sections ("Our Foolish Contemporaries") include two light satirical pieces: one about East Side children at a Jersey farm, where a street boy jokes that he's dirtier because he's two years older; another about a rural mail carrier asking a farmer if he's related to Sherlock Holmes. These represent gentle, everyday humor rather than political commentary—satirizing innocent misunderstandings and social pretense rather than addressing current events. The page reflects Life magazine's mixed approach of serious financial advertising alongside whimsical, non-partisan humor typical of early 20th-century American publishing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
POIRESE sisfor Censt Compara FIFTH AVE. & 36™ST., NEW YORK CAPITAL & SURPLUS $1,400,000 Interest Paid on Daily Balances DIRECTORS BENJAMIN ALTMAN, B, Altman & Co. Building Const JOHN JACOB ASTOR BERT H. GAR GEO. F. BAKER, Chatrman, U. 8. St Chairman First National Rank. STEPHEN BAKER, Pres't Bank of the Manhattan Co. GEO. B. CASE. White & Case, Attorneys, JOUN CLAFLIN, res't, U. 8. Dry Goods Compante THOMAS COCHRAN, Jr. CHARLES 4 President. Pres't Mutual Life Ins. Co. GEO. W. PERE J.P. Morgan & Morgan & Co., Bankers JOHN T. DOWNEY, RORERT WALTON GOELET, THOMAS W. LAMONT Vice-Pres't First Natto DGAR L. MARSTO: SEWARD PROSSER, Vice-President. DANIEL G, REI ioeporation! Rock Istand System, DOUGLAS ROBINSON, Real ARCHIBALD D, RUSSELL, ALEXANDER H. STEVENS, Vice-President. JOUN ¥. THOMP Vice-Pres't Bankes L. TIFF, s't Tiffany & Co, ALBERT H. WIG 1 Nat'l Bank, v OFFICERS E, C, CONVERS SEWARD PROSSER, Vice-Pres, HOWARD BOOCOCK, Asst See ALEX, H. STEVENS, Vice-Pres. GEO. W. PANCOAST, Casbier. President. THOMAS COCHRAN, Jr., Vice-Pres, JAS, KR. TROWBRIDGE, Trust Ofticer, =~OOR FOOLISH <= GNTEMPORARNE a Naturally There is a society in New York that. cach year, takes a dozen or so East Side children and gives them the time of their lives for a month at an old farmhouse over in Jersey. The very first thing that takes place upon the arrival of the consignment is a thorough scrubbing. “Good gracious, Jakey, your bath water is as black as ink,” the attendant remarked 1 a- lad at the end of his distressing ceremony dirtier by far than any of the others.” “Well, ain't I two years older ‘an any of them kids?” Jakey demanded.—Brooklyn Li GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents per case of 6 glass stoppered bottles Business Book Free Simply send usa postal and ask for our free ilus- trated 9,052. word Business Booklet which tells how peceles 8 Business Experience, squeezed from the ives of 112 big, broad brainy, business men may be made yours—yours to boost your salary, to increase your profits. This free booklet deals with a busisess jew to buy at rock-bottom “How to collect money Hise to stop cost leaks ofbce methouts Sending for this free book Mads you to mothing: laveives, yoo In agblienion, yet it may Ye" the’ means cf starting you on broader career.” Screly you will not deny yoursell this privilege, hen it involves caly the risk of a powal—a peany! Simply say © Send on your 9,¢89-word Booklet."" Send to Syetem, Dept. 221-14, 151-188 Wabash Ave, Chicago, Il, Relaxation I always like the freakish verse, The kind that runs downstairs; The kind that circles round the page, Or does its turn in squares. It's fun to see the poets’ stunts, Helped by the typo men Just see again. the way runs up this runs and then down hill I do not think that people ought To keep the same old gait; They ought to break loose now and then And keep an evening “late.”” A long straight line, without a break, Is bad for verse or men; up hill this runs and then the way runs down Just see again —Boston Herald. Teaching Him a Lesson The new mail carrier on the rural free de- livery route glanced at the name on the letter box by the roadside, stopped his horse, and spoke to the roughly attired farmer with the old slouch hat, who was resting his sunbrowned arms on the gate and looking at him. “T see,"’ he said, “ your name is Holme: “Yes, “ Beverly G Yes, I'm the man that lives here.” ‘Any relation of Sherlock Holmes?’’ gravely asked the carrier. “No, sir,"" answered the farmer, “ but I'm de- fective enough to know that you're not a very good judge of human nature. You took me for an ignoramus because I've got my old working duds on. I'm Sherlock Holmes enough to look at a man’s face and eyes before I size him up as a— Some mail for me? Thanks.'’—Youth’s Companion. 190 ‘Design of back, hemstizcbed linen, pat. 1, Green. 25 cents per pack; gold edge 35 cents. ‘cent postpaid on receipt of Fees lteetrated catalog of fridge atermorirs tree, Addrets Dept L Radcliffe & Co.. Sew Yoru 1446 Pearl The Education of the Admiral ice-Admiral Uriu, of the Japanese N a member of the class of 1881 at Academy at Annapolis and has recently here visiting his classmates and celebrating a re union with them, At a dinner given to the vice-admiral when he was in this country one of his classmates told a story on the vice-admiral as an illustration of the progress of the Japanese in the past thirty years. Uriu was the most correct and proper person in our class." said the story teller. “He was prim and precise and very reverent. I met him one morning on the parade ground. “*Good morning,’ I said enthusiastically “Isn't this a splendid day?’ “* Tt is, indeed,’ Uriu responded gravely, ‘and I thank Heaven I am here and permitted to enjoy i “When I met Urin this time, after a lapse of nearly thirty years, I recalled that conversation and said: ‘Good morning. Isn't this a splendid day?" “It is, indeed,’ Uriu replied, ‘and will you, for Heaven's sake, kindly tell me where I can get_a drink?’ "—Saturday Evening Post. Asneyitte, N. C.: The four-season resort of the South. THe Maxor, the English-like Inn of Asheville. Too Bad “Where's your mistress’s maid?” “ Upstairs, sir, arranging Madame’s hair. And Madame? Is she with her?"’—Lippin- cott’s. INVESTMENT SECURITIES mew YORK. Bank and Trust || and High-Class Co. Stocks | Industrials | | Complete facilities We specialize stocks ge purchase and | qy ending entirely sale of Stocks in Banks | on pa ic demand for and TrustCompanieslo- || security and yn busi cated anywhere in U.S. || nessoperationsforprofits, OurcurrentListspresent || Ourcustomersmayinvest unusual opportunitiesfor | in moderateamountsand investment in new banks |! payinconvenient install- in growing tovins aswell || ments. The largest in- as in established divi- || vestment business of this dend-paying banks. || character in theworkd— Lowest prices. Writefor |] over forty thousand booklet, "Bank Stocks |! discriminatingcustomers, as an Investment," and || Writefor our descriptive latest List. booklet No. 110. STERLING DEBENTURE CORPORATION BRUNSWICK BUILDING. MADISON SQUARE NEW Yor “ Learnin’ by experience is convincin’,"’ said Uncle Eben. “ But as is de case wif toadstools an’ mushrooms, its mos'ly de wises’ plan to be satisfied wif hearsay evidence.’’"—Washington Ster. of The HI J The of the happit ship. i stein, cans cite hes oru storie and, t wande of th birds ony and strenj ving mp tons leetu and and comy profi comicbooks.com