Life, 1909-08-05 · page 18 of 44
Life — August 5, 1909 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page profiles **Simon Newcomb**, a late 19th-century scientist and Rear Admiral. The satirical point is that despite holding numerous prestigious titles (Knight of Prussian Merit, Legion of Honor, etc.), Newcomb preferred being called "Professor"—his *actual* accomplishment rather than his honors. The article humorously notes Newcomb spent half his lifetime recalculating astronomical tables after discovering the moon's orbital center, worked constantly without overtime pay, and never achieved wealth despite fame. The satire gently mocks the gap between scientific achievement and material reward. The **cartoons** below show: - Two caricatured figures in ethnic dress (labeled "COREY"), satirizing immigrant speech patterns - **Mrs. Clawfeet** scolding children for "scandalous behavior"—likely mocking both stern moralism and immigrant accents The page blends Newcomb's earnest biography with period satire targeting immigrants and social hypocrisy, typical of Life's turn-of-century humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ACH HIMMEL! DOND YOU AIN'T THIS A MOL Mrs. Frankfurter AN’ WHY SHOULDN'T Wh? About Simon Newcomb and the Fun He Had HE late Simon Newcomb was a Rear-Admiral on the re- tired list of the navy, but somehow it scems unsuitable to speak of him as “ Admiral Newcomb."" He 1 “ Professor,” but he was not a teacher by profession nor a er of the f He was a Knight of the Order of Merit in Prussia, a commander of the Legion of Honor and Associate of the Institute in France, president of a string of learned societies in this country, an officer or per of alot more in Europe, and about the most ut none of the titles he won rently, for any, or all, of Newcomb. We imported him young His strong suit was mathematics, for arket in Nova Scotia, so at ht school a little, si ght be called men Ity of any universi horora be-doctored person of his day ever stuck pp He was our leading scientist, from No S sluggish eighteen he came here. He tau while at Harvard, got a job in the office of the Ni Almanac at Washington, and stayed on it all the rest of his life. which there died a utical cargys “Mk READ “BOUT MELICAN GALL—— $0 ME WEAR RATER, TOO." SEX DOT YOUR HUSBAND ISS VIGHTING ble life. The even though one lo ernment. are not very generou Old Mrs. Clawfect EDENEEZER CLAWFEET LOUS EEMAVIOR Unhappily He had lots of fun. He soon dis- covered that the moon did not revolve strictly around the earth, but around the common centre of gravity of earth and moon. That meant that the tables used by astronomers in their calculations were wrong, so Newcomb sailed in to make them right,—no less a labor than “to recompute the clements of the en- tire solar system." He did it. There is no trades-union in the Nautical Aimanac office, nothing to hinder a man’s work- ing over hours and all he likes, so New- comb did it. It took bim about half his lifetime, but being an ambitious and appalling job, it was a great advertise- ment for him, and before he had finished it it had made him a famous man. So in happy diligence, figuring things out, he spent his life, working habitu- ally overtime, and not getting very much pay. He wrote a great deal, including pieces for the magazines, and, once, a novel. He had wholesome se pensities and was long the president of It seems pro- Cosmos Club in Washington, that he had a very pleasing and profit- : is quite a lot in being a preeminent scientist, y roll of the National Gov- s on the the qualifications for the em; sly distributed among mankind. COME AWAY PROM THERE THIS INSTANT, ! wit i've NEVER SEEN SUCHE SCANDA- comicbooks.com