Life — July 15, 1909 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

88 On His Own Terms A Covrox Boxpre, Eso., Wall Street s Dear Sir:—1 over in Newport the other Mat day on a visit, and by chance happened to meet *> with your cighteen-year-old daughter—a very beautiful girl, by the way, Needless to say that she fell madly in love with me Not wishing to entangle myself, I hurried away, but I fear that dis- astrous results may ensue, and therefore hasten to inform you of the fact, and to assure you that I am willing to do all in my power to mitigate the calamity. Yours sincerely, Bouter Barr. N Bouter Barr, Eso., Mott Street Dear Sir:—On receiving your letter, which as you may imagine filled me with amazement, I im- mediately interviewed my daugh- ter, and found that your account was perfectly truthful. She is madly in love with you, and de- clares that she must marry you at once. I am in hopes, however, that sober second thought will prevail. In the meantime, in case other measures scem best, permit me to thank you for your kindly consideration, and also ask you to forward me some facts with regard to yourself—your parentage, etc. Yours very truly, A Covroy Boxprr. A Covrox Boxprr, Eso., Dear Sir:—In reply to your inquiry I will say that I am a young man of criminal instincts, and have long been a well- known figure in East Side circles. I play fantan, poker and the races equally well. In my early youth I was a pickpocket, after which I became a housebreaker and a tout. My parent age is unknown, but I have every reason to believe that my mother was Irish and my father Chinese. With thanks for your inquiry, believe me, Yours faithfully, Bouter Barr. Bo.ter Barr, Dear Sir:—Immediately on receiving your recent favor I put my daughter in possession of the facts with regard to yourself. Much to my surprise she said that she had divined them already before your letter was received—in fact, when she first saw you—and that was why she loved you. She is now in a condition where she refuses to be comforted unless she sees you a once. You might let me know immediately how much you would expect me to settle on you Awaiting your reply, I am, Yours respectfully, A Couroy Boxprr. A Covroyx Bonprr, Eso., Dear Sir:—In reply to your favor, an income of fifty thou- sand a year would be satisfactory to ours very truly, Bouter Barr, Bouter Barr, Eso., Dear Sir:—I am greatly surprised at your demand. It would be impossible for me to grant it. Will you accept twenty-five thousand? Yours anxiously, A Covpon Bonper, “DON’T CONSIDER IT FOR A MOMENT, MY DEAR” A Covroy Boxprr, Eso., Dear Sir:—1 am equally. sur- prised at your letter. You seem to forget, sir, that this is not of my seeking. I don't want to marry your daughter. I have troubles of my own. Now that I think it over, I don't believe that I would come for fifty thousand a year, Yours, Boxter Barr. Bouter Barr, Eso., My dear Mr, Barr:—I did not mean to offend you. Pray forget it. Of course I will accept your terms. Comeat once. Don't wait a moment. My daughter is des- perate, Yours. Bonper. A Covrox Boxprr, Es Dear Sir:—1 will come as per your letter, but with this distinct understanding: That after I have married your daughter I don’t have to associate with the rest of her family. If you accept wire me and I will start immediately for Newport. Yours truly, Bouter Barr. Bouter Barr All conditions accepted. Take first train. Boner. THE WORLD AND HIS WIFE FROM A TURKISH TOF VIEW comicbooks.com