Life — July 8, 1909 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PRESIDENT SUSPENDERS give just as free play to your shoulders and unhampered freedom to your body as if you had no suspenders on. Due to the sliding action of cord in the back. The only suspender that gives you unfailing comfort. And besides comfort, President Suspenders give you greatest durability — they are the most economic sus- penders you can buy because of high quality workmanship and excel- lence of material. Every pair unconditionally guar- anteed. All dealers should be able to supply the Light, Medium and Heavy weights in regular and extra lengths —also youth's size. If not, we will supply you pon receipt of 50 cents, State color and length desired. THE C. A. EDGARTON MFG. CO. TGQ MAIN STREET, SHIRLEY, MASS. =OuR FOOLISH. ‘G@NTEMPORARTE! The Rules of Rhetoric At first sight, the rules of rhetoric seem as adamantine as the moral law (observes Dr Crothers in an essay in the Atlantic Monthi3 The commandments against barbarisms and im Propricties are uttered with a stern menace Such a natural locution as a ‘split infinitive evokes the thunders of the law. The young writer grows timid, seeing that he is liable to give offense where none was intended, By puri fying his style of all its natural qualities, he secks through self-abnegation to follow the coun- sels of perfection and attain to “clearness, ele- gance and force.” At last he discovers, with a sense of injustice, that the penalties are visited only on those who, in good faith, are trying, though unsuccessfully, to obey the laws. All is forgiven one who trans- gresses willfully and deliberately “I do not care to be clear,” eries the new favorite; “you will notice what pains I take to be obscure. As for clegance. I despise “Come to my arms, child of genius." cries the delighted critic. “Who cares for clearness and elegance in one who is strong enough to suc- ceed without them?” Settled the Question When a Scotsman answers a question he settles the matter in dispute once for all. On a cer- tain occasion the question was asked: “ Why was Mary, Queen of Scots, born at Linlithgow?" Sandy Kerr promptly answered: “ Because her mither was staying there.”’—Hwman Life. The Unconquerable Foe John Bright once described the variety of sta fright with which he was familiar with telling and quotable point. He was discussing public speaking with George Dawson, an eminent lishman of his day, when, according to a para graph in the late David Christie Murray's * Recollections,"* he said: “Tell me, Friend George, you have, I sup- pose, as large an experience in public speaking as any man in England. Have you any ac- quaintance with the old nervous tremor No,"? Dawson replied, “or, if I have, it is a mere momentary qualm, which is gone before [ n realize it “Now, for my part,’ said the great tribune, “LT have had practice enough, but 1 have never risen to address an audic: . large or small, without experiencing a shaking at the knees and a sense of a scientific vacuum behind the waist- coat.’’—Youth's Companion, Aswevinte, N. C.: The four-season resort of the uth, TNE Maxox, the English-ike Inn of Asheville. The Typewriter Girl The beautiful typewriter girl puffed out her golden pompadour nervously “My speed'll increase, Mr. Meer. Mr. Wellington—my speed'll increase 30 oF 40 per cent every day.”” Broker Wellington frowned. The girl had en his dictation slowly. And in a stern, skep tical voice, he said: * How so?"” “It’s your new vocabulary that puts me out, she explained. “I had Mr. Meer's vocabulary very pat—‘as per,’ ‘contents noted,’ ‘the same" —he only used about 300 words.” Her flattering smile warmed the man like a sunbeam * But you, sir, have a real literary style. * Beg to submit,’ ‘our best attention,’ ‘slump,’ ‘ bull- excuse me, the OXYGEN Tooth Padé Prevents Decay Dentists advise its use. All Druggists. 25 Cents Trtat Size Can and booklet sent on McKesson & Robbins, 91-97 Fulton St. New York. While Rock. “The World’s Best Table Water’’ Now ready, 1909 edition of the famous “Richard's Poor Almanack,” the hit of 1204, Beautifully bound and (llustrated humorous book, Sent for soc, Address White Rock, Flatiron Bldg., New York City. Bauncurr Maxon, N.Y. BRIARCLIFF LODGE A Resort Hotel of High Quality Open from May Ist to December Ist with superior accommota- tlons for three hundred guests. Apartments decorated aud furnished under exclusive orders for lease engagement. DAVID B. PLUMER, Manager Represented at 5\ East 46th St., New York, "Phone 2774ssth, ish,’ ‘ hypothecate '—they're all new words to me, and, of course, I can’t rattle them off very fast at first. But just you wait till day after to-morrow. Then you'll see. . “All business men have different vocabularies that their stenographers must get accustomed to, ch?" said the broker. “Yes, sir. Some large, some small."? Again her smile flattered him. “Yours is larger than most. I should say it was thirty or forty words larger. Real literary, 1 call it “Miss Hoskins, if there’s—er—any supplies you need, all you've got to do is to ask,’ said the literary broker, fatuously.—Tit-Bits The Camp Fire becomes the real throne of the true sporteman if there's a supply of EVans’ Al within speaking distance. Fills the bill as nothin, will, Doubles the benefits and pleasures of an outin; In splits as well as regular size bottles. CL EVANS & SONS, If A Young Sherlock Holmes A teacher in a midland town in England is noted, says a writer in M. A. P., for his patriotic fervor. One day in class, while in a particular] uplifted mood, he turned to one of his pupils, an average English boy of twelve. “Now, Tommy,"’ said he, “tell us what you would think if you saw the Union Jack waving proudly over the field of battle.” “T should think,’” replied Tommy, “that the wind was blowing."'"—Youth’s Companion. In a pinch use Allen's Foot-Ease,”* remarked the tramp, as he threw a package of white powder pollceman who was about toarrest hm A xew member of Congress from one of the rural districts of Michig n was ambitious to dis- tinguich himself by his oratory, and accordingly ched for a favorable opportunity. At length an occasion presented itself. A motion was made in the House for enforcing the execution of some statute; whereupon the orator in embryo rose solemnly up, and after giving three loud hems. spoke as follows: “ Mr. Speaker: Have we laws, or have we not laws? If we have not laws, and they are not observed, to what end are those laws made?" So saying, he sat down, his chest heaving high with conscious consequence. In- stantly Cox, the clown of the House, with a twinkle in his eye, rose and delivered his thoughts in these words: “Mr. Speaker: Did the honorable gentleman who spoke last speak to the purpose, or not speak to the purpose? If he did not speak to the purpose, to what purpose did he speak?" That particular orator never troubled the House again. —Argonaut. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents per case of 6 glass stoppered bottles comicbooks.com