Life, 1909-07-08 · page 10 of 28
Life — July 8, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes nautical etiquette and behavior through humorous "rules" for ship passengers. The left illustration shows men in formal dress losing their balance—mocking the pretension of maintaining decorum at sea. The poem advises against typical passenger behaviors: giving unsolicited advice to captains, discussing seasickness openly, complaining about rough passages, or using affected nautical slang like "Yo ho!" The satirical "Maximes de la Vie" mock those trying to appear experienced sailors. The bottom section, "The Alcoholic Speedway," humorously illustrates the progression from light drinks (lemonade) through increasingly strong alcohol to absinthe, ending with a tombstone marked "R.I.P." This darkly comedic sequence jokes about alcohol's dangerous escalation—a timely reference given early 20th-century concerns about drinking culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DEE * Deportmental Ditties BY MARKY GRAHAM At Sea Ye passengers of cither sex bly tread a steamer’s decks, © precepts, if you please, Which naval etiquette decrees; rank or green ¢ es of those wh nplore such weaker souls To note how much the vessel rolls Don’t recommend calves’ hi To one who cannot face his meals; The thought of tripe will not excite A friend’s reluctant appetit And even haggis, so I'm tol Will leave him absolutely cold. Don’t emulate the old “ sea-dog "’ (Who says “Yo ho!’' and ca gr By wearing blue gold-buttoned suits, A yachting cap and pipeclayed boots, Nor don a knowing na ir Unless immune to mal-de-mer. Don’t shout “Avast there 1°" ubbers, man th “A MOTION WAS MADE TO ADJOURN THE MEETING”? plice the bra splice! "* THE ALCOHOLIC SPEEDWAY LEMONADE LEMONADE WITH MARASCHINO CNERRIES CLARET . LEMONADE WITH LEMONADE A STICK IN IT Ue! o A LITTLE SLUG OF PONY OF MORN OF WHISKEY WHISKEY BRANDY BRANDY ABSINTHE” Unless your knowledge is precise Nor glibly talk of “hatch? or “ hitch’ Until you're certain which is which. Don't give the captain good advice, And never ask him more than twice (Unless you wish for a rebuff) Whether the passage will be rough. Nor yet if all the crew were drowned Last time he ran his ship aground. lf actively unwell (As you may very likel Avoid procedure ¢ The feelings of fastidi sickness tems, if neatly dore, With quiet—if onesided—fun. When Joseph Spence—a not Was ill, into a stranger's ba The latter, from an upper bunk, Exclaimed, “ Look out! that's not your trunk!" “1 thought as much!" retorted Spence, As he repeated the offense. Make certain that at any cost Your sense of humor isn’t lost. And if a steward, on a fork, Should tempt you with a slice of pork Evince some signs of squeamish mirth, Before you hasten to your berth, These are the Maximes de la Vie For those of Riper Years on § SCHOONER: OF BEER COCKTAIL THE END. comicbooks.com