Life — July 1, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

jejWede UP TO DATE SOLID-BREECH HAMMERLESS ‘The Remington is the oldest Arms Company in America, yet Reming- } tons represent the youngest, the most Autoloading Shotgun and Rifle load themselves by recoil, Like the Remington Pump Gun they are a class by themselves. is the keynote of a Safety Remington, The thick wall of solid steel protects your B face. Get a modern, up-to-date Reming- ton—the gun that represents safety and 20th Century Progress. Booklet U tells of Buffato Jones roping wild cats, THE REMINGTON ARMS CO, Ilica, N.Y, Agency, 315 Broadway, New York City Fi] | — ms = 2 id Tongue Twisting ] A London paper recently offered a series of prizes for the best “tongue twisting '” sentences. The prize-winning contributions are: The bleak breeze blighted the blossoms Two toads totally tired tried to trot to Ted- bury. Strict, strong Stephen Stringer snared slickly six sickly silky snakes. Susan shineth shoes and socks: socks and shoes shines Susan. She ceaseth shining shoes and socks, for shoes and socks shock Susan. A haddock, a haddock, a black spotted had- dock ; a black spot on the black back of a black spotted haddock. Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl and an oyster. i Did Oliver Oglethorp ogle an owl and an oyster? If Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl and an oyster, where are the owl and the oyster Oliver Ogle- thorp ogled?—Chicoo Tribune. bright broom To H. R. H. Juliana Lou The little Crown Princess of Holland has been christened Juliana Louise Emma Marie Wilhel- mina.—Cable despatch, The Holland folk are tickled much Because they've got a Princess Dutch— A brand-new bluc-eyed baby girl To keep their loyal hearts awhirl; An heiress for their little throne That they can call their very own, Who soon will rule them as she likes As little Princess of the Dikes, And for her name This very same Is christened by her subjects true As Julian ‘na, Jultana Lou! We doff our caps to you! A Princess fair You truly air, © Julian? Lou! Some day you'll come into your place As ruler of the Holland race, And as a Queen, serenely calm, You'll rule o'er giddy Amsterdam, And Rotterdam, And Potterdam, And all the other dams there be Along the beauteous damson And as you walk your regal ways May all your sauce be Hollandaise, And may you never use a crutch Because somebody's beat the Dutch ; But rule serene, A happy Queen Your days all through— O Juliana, Juliana, Juliana Lou! O Juliana Lou, We doff our caps to you! A Dutch-treat fair You truly air, O Juliana Lou! IK. B., in Harper's Weekly. From the Martian Herald, July 5, 1909 The world blew up again last night. ‘Many people witnessed the interesting periodical phe- nomenon, which was accompanied with such a booming and banging as is seldom heard. It corroborates our theory that there is no human life on the planet, as it could never survive these shocks. The earth will not last long if these terrific eruptions continue, ~ |Maillard’s Breakfast Cocoa «The Best Cocoa that it is specially desirable _as a summer drink, jibe solid food shculd be reduced for health’s | sake. and is so delicious that it coaces the appetite when other dainties f | ing, and_an excellent“ between meals” aid to the \tourist and vacati | but, try Maillard’s—it's different. Handy for the pocket cr valise, a“ CHOCOLATES, BON-BONS, FRENCH BONBONNIERES The unigue Luncheon Restaurant is a popular resort the Presidency. way, can’t you have lunch here and go out and have a game with me this afternoon? ”’ pltecords. Herald. of Them All” It is so appetizing, refreshing and sustaining, Besides, it is made without any trouble, lust the thing for camp- nist [here are many cocoas, Maillard’s Vanilla Chocolate treat to eat.” Sold by All Leading Grocers Fifth Avenue at 35th Street for fadies—afterncon tea 3 to 6, What He Called to Say “Mr. President,’’ said the caller at the White House, “I do not wish to boast, but I thought you m' like to know that I was the origi- nal. “Really, you must excuse me, I have a pressing engagement “Ab, Iam very sorry. I merely called to say that I am the first man that ever “Iam sorry, sir, but really I must beg that you will excuse me. “ Certainly, Mr. President, certainly. I merely wished to say that I am the first golfer that ever made a 275-yard drive with a niblick.”” “Oh, I thought you were going to tell me you were the first man that ever supported me for Sit down! Sit down! By the my dear sir. —Chicago comicbooks.com